For those in the LGBTQ Chicago nightlife universe, Chilli is the penultimate star, famous for her ostentatious jewelry and impeccable style. But while speaking with Chilli, I was struck by her deep tranquility and reflection, as well as her reverence for fellow performers at the Baton, past and present. She veered from dwelling on the past in favor of ruminating on the nature of performance and how trans lives have always managed to thrive on the margins.“Any description of Chilli must come from the audience, from you. Chilli is a response. Chilli is a mirror. This is my art, this is what I use to perform. I’m not naked. That’s not what I’m selling. This,” gesturing to her face, “this is what I use. I make an expression and I see how they react. The key is seeing yourself through their eyes. If you judge me because you think I care about this or that, or judge me because of who I hang out with, I don’t care. It’s taken me years to get acceptance. That is going to be handed down to other people. That is another and maybe a larger way of being kind.”
But that shouldn't make you be so cold
I can't let you use me
I've been around the world and back again…
So you ain't talking to no foolInterview has been edited and condensed.You're the winner of the first Miss Continental Pageant in 1980. What was that like? What led you to that moment?You're making me think really back… I had seen a pageant a month before in Florida, Miss Florida. My employer, Jim Flint, was there too, and I think that’s where he got the idea to do Miss Continental. Because Florida was before Miss Continental. It was a terrific, terrific, spectacular pageant. The most visual centerpiece.Did you live in Florida?No, no, no, but I went. I used to go because I had friends who had a very large club there, the Copacabana. They sponsored me to enter Miss Continental. They had a lot of very large clubs—in Key West, Fort Lauderdale, New York, Fire Island. The Fort Lauderdale club, maybe on a good Saturday night, could have up to 5,000 to 6,000 people. For many years, that was probably the most fabulous club in Fort Lauderdale. People came from all over the world to go, and they would go to Fort Lauderdale, that's where they would go hang out. It was a destination; when Barry Manilow sang that song “At the Copa,” that's what he meant.
Chili Pepper is your art, she’s your creation.That's my cartoon. Create a cartoon for the stage. That's what works for me. I can only be me. People try to change [that and suggest], oh, do this or do that. Well, I could, but it doesn't feel right. I know what works for the people that see me. They have to be people who see me, that like what I do, because I can't do what Mimi (Marks) or Sheri (Payne) or Chanté (Alexandra Billings) or any of those girls do."Unfortunately, the ones that should say 'thank you' to you, they never do."
Yeah, it's no longer just something that you're saying to your friend, it's something that you're saying to the world.Right. You didn't hear that years ago. I mean, it happened, [but] very rarely. But in general now, there's so many angry people. Sometimes, they get worse. Some people, with time, they get better, because they start to learn and to tolerate. And it goes into––hopefully––patience, and then they're okay. They learn about themselves. If you learn something about yourself, then maybe you'll leave somebody else alone. I can’t make anyone happy unless you want to make yourself happy. I’m trying to, by jumping up and down, and miming, and dancing, but if that doesn’t work, I can’t do more than that. I can only do what I’m capable of doing.I'm wondering, for all of those young people who are struggling and now living in a world where there's more anger and more vitriol, what would you say to some of those young people?What you have to do is just make good friends and really be loyal. Don't have any envy or anything. Because everybody has their own star above them. They can achieve things and be happy for somebody else. They have to just try to be kind, just trying to make it better for yourself and for the ones who come after you. That's all that you can do, really."That's all you can ask for: to be allowed to live whatever your show is until the music stops."
If you're just kind and trying to put all that other stuff aside and just be friends and try[ing] to keep a really peaceful life, it could be really gorgeous. For us, from the people who came before any of us, it was even tougher. They made it gorgeous for us. They passed it on, we just don't know how much of it gets passed on. We're not aware of that. But I'm sure, for their time, they were going through a lot of heartaches and all that, trying to be who they are. As time goes on, hopefully people or just this earth will let you be who you are. That's all you can ask for. That's all you can ask for: to be allowed to live whatever your show is until the music stops.Then I guess I don't know, because I don't know what happens after the music stops. I hope it's pleasant for the next; I hope it's pleasant for me; and I hope it's pleasant if I come back, so I can really see it. It's whatever you believe. I mean, it is just a journey.