Worst presents from exes
All photos by Alice Zoo

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People Show Us The Worst Gifts They Have Ever Received From Their Exes

From a framed 3D poster of a cat to a "World's Best Dad" mug, good gifts are nice, but there's something uniquely awful about a terrible present.

Most people are terrible at giving each other gifts. For every thoughtfully-wrapped present to commemorate a long-forgotten anniversary, there's a shitty soy candle or bottle of cheap rosé hastily bought from a bodega round the corner.

But there's something uniquely terrible about the bad presents you receive from your significant other, especially if they later turn out to be an ex significant other. You wonder, Did that wilted rose predict something tragic about our future together? What about the bottle cap collection from his late uncle? Did the lingerie set he bought, which was two sizes too small, foretell of him ditching me for a size zero model?

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When a relationship ends, most of these gifts never see the light of day again—or at least, they're shoved quickly into the back of the nearest closet when a new paramour comes to town. But some brave souls emerge from the wreckage of past romances with their heads held high, and their hands holding on to a souvenir of their lost love. Even if those souvenirs are, objectively speaking, fucking awful.

We asked a few people to dust off the most heinous presents they've ever received from their significant others.

All photos by Alice Zoo

Billie, 22, London

So who bought this stunning piece of art for you?
An ex called Henry. I met him at university and we were together for a year.

What's the story behind it?
This was a housewarming present bought because I used to make a lot of jokes about ending up as lonely owner of cats. Crucially, I am allergic to cats.

How did you feel about it at the time, and how do you feel about it now?
I thought it was funny but now, less so.

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What makes it especially terrible?
The sincerity in the fat cat's eyes.

Why did you guys break up?
He turned out different from how he seemed. Did you ever consider throwing this out?
No, mainly because I'm a hoarder.

Sutwo, 19, Ipswich

Who gave you this "World's Greatest Dad" mug?
My ex-girlfriend Ellie bought the gift for me when I was 17. We were going out for a year and a half, and we met at school.

What's the story behind this gift?
She gave me the gift as a prank, implying she was pregnant. She handed it over and saw my face drop. It was all a bit of fun, she was taking the piss out of me.

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How did you feel about the present at the time, and how do you feel about it now?
At the time it was the worst thing in the world. Five minutes later she was the worst thing in the world. And now, it's quite funny I guess.

What makes it a uniquely bad gift, in your opinion?
I dunno, not many girls think to come up with that sort of joke. On my birthday as well!

Did it symbolize anything about your relationship with Ellie?
[That] we could have a laugh. Didn't have to take anything too seriously. She poked fun at me just as much as I poked fun at her, if not more so.

How did you guys end up breaking up?
Things sort of just died out, really. I wasn't feeling the spark anymore. We just went our separate ways.

Did you ever consider throwing it away?
Absolutely not. We've got a big cupboard where lots of things hide, so I just left it at the back there… I don't chuck anything.

Opal, 21, Hove

Who got you this fucked-up looking wooden leopard?
My ex bought me this gift. We were only together for a few months; we met in a fermentation workshop.

What's the story behind it?
He took a carpentry course because he wanted to make his spirit animal for me, which he believed was a leopard.

How did you feel about this gift at the time, and how do you feel about it now?
Uneasy, then and now.

Why do you think it's a terrible present?
I'm really petrified of its face and facial expression—mainly as it actually looks a lot like my ex and I kind of feel like he's watching me all the time.

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Why did you guys end up breaking up?
He left to go travelling for a while, and I think the relationship just naturally ended because neither of us were that bothered about it.

Does it symbolize anything about your relationship?
It literally symbolizes him…

Did you ever consider throwing it away at all?
Not really, it's quite well made.

Pablo, 26, Mexico

So, who gave you this delightfully titled DVD Whore Church?
My ex-girlfriend bought this gift for me. We went out for a year and three months.

What's the story behind this gift?
I was brought up as a strict Catholic in a rural town next to Mexico City and my girlfriend was an atheist. For my birthday, she thought it would be quite funny to give me a DVD full of horrible medieval gore scenes of blasphemy and all of that. She thought that maybe it would change my ideas, but it didn't, obviously.

How did you feel when she gave it you?
At the time I was extremely offended, because it contradicted all of my views and everything that I'd been brought up with. But at the moment I am a strict atheist and actually completely agree with everything in that film.

Why do you think it's a bad present?
I think what makes it uniquely awful is that I hate her now, but I'm an atheist.

What does it symbolize about your relationship, if anything?
It symbolizes how I thought we weren't meant to be together, but maybe we were meant to be together, but I don't know because I hate her now.

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Bettine, 23, Inverness

Who bought this hairbrush for you?
My ex-boyfriend got this for me. We went out for about three months and met on a train to Birmingham.

What's the story behind this gift?
It was my birthday during the short time we were going out and he got me this Tangle Teezer hairbrush. I thought it was a pretty weird thing to get me, because we didn't even have any jokes about how my hair was tangled or anything.

How did you feel about this gift at the time, and how do you feel about it now?
I was pretty confused about the gift at the time, but I guess it made sense because my hair is a bit knotty so I have actually come to love it.

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What makes it so bad?
Just its whole small, plastic look makes it seem very sillly as a birthday gift. And I think he was just in Boots and didn't know what to get.

How did you guys end up breaking up?
We broke up happily on New Year's Eve.

What does it say about that relationship?
Short and spiky and boring.

Ala, 25, York

How did you meet the person who gave you this?
Her name was Stacy. I met her at a basketball game in Tokyo.

Does the gift have a story behind it?
When I first met her, what caught my eye was her huge red hand. So a couple of years down the line she thought she'd surprise me with the foam finger that we thought was forgotten.

How did you feel about this gift at the time, and how do you feel about it now?
It was hilarious at the time because it's a massive foam finger. But looking back at it now, it just reminds me of how big her hands were.

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What do you think it says about the relationship?
Well, I guess it's like the number one, and she was my first love.

Would you ever think about binning it?
No, course not. It was my first gift from my first true love.

Steph, 24, Hackney

Who bought this hideous cactus for you?
My current boyfriend James—although I doubted our status after the gift—and we met through a very close friend. He's one of the best friends of her older brother.

Does this gift have a story?
I'm a bit of a plant addict and James notoriously always buys me shite presents, but not deliberately, though now we've decided to make it deliberate so it's a bit less disturbing. He came back one day after a little plant shop had opened round the corner with this quite sweet cactus, which originally was the silhouette of a man… So we called him Mr. Man. Then my sister came round one evening and decapitated Mr. Man [by accident]… I was very upset so I tried to safety pin the head back onto the body—didn't work, it just started to rot. And then when I decided to lose the head and stick it back down in the earth, you can see the phallic Salad Fingers-like probe began to emerge. Literally within the space of about four days, that happened.

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How did you feel about this gift then, and how do you feel about it now?
At the time so-so, not great, not bad, just a cactus. Now? Well if I said that my friend brought their child round and it burst into tears that pretty much describes my feelings about it now.

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What makes it so bad?
Well, every day another centimeter of phallic cactus is presented to me. I mean, where do you get that anywhere else in the world? Green peen.

Do you ever think about throwing it away?
No, I would never chuck a plant until it was really the last straw. And Mr. Man is on his way.

John, 28, Billericay

Who bought this admittedly very boring glasses case for you?
An ex-girlfriend. Her name was Rosa and we dated on and off for about a year. We met in a bar in the Spanish town of Figueras. She was working there and I stopped by for one drink, but one became a lot more and we stumbled upon a connection. The next moment we were seeing each other.

What's the story behind this gift?
Rosa noticed that I would keep my glasses in the inside pocket of my jacket. I never had any kind of case for them. She mentioned it a couple of times, probably hoping I would do something about it. I didn't and, as you can see, she took matters into her own hands.

How did you feel about this gift at the time, and how do you feel about it now?
To be honest, it was a little underwhelming when she first handed me the case. I'd bought her a beautiful necklace encrusted with blue precious stones. They matched the colour of her eyes. So to only receive a glasses case in return was a little irritating. Now I use it all the time and it's been two years since I was in that bar in Spain. It's probably lasted longer than my gift of a necklace.

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So what makes it so bad?
For such a simple object, it carries a lot of pain. Rosa didn't do well after we broke up. I don't want to go into details but she strayed down a bad path and, last I heard, she was mixing with the wrong crowd somewhere in the suburbs of Barcelona.

How did you guys break up up?
One word: distance. You see, Rosa talked about coming to London but she'd never even left her hometown when I met her. She visited me a couple of times and I did the same but we soon saw that neither of us was going to change the course of our life for the other. Que sera.

What does it symbolize about your relationship, if anything?
For all the time we spent together, I don't think I ever really tried to understand or know her completely. But this case, based on that little observation of hers, proves that she did try to understand me. I suppose it reminds me to meet the people I love halfway and to give as much as I receive from lovers. That's a lesson I cherish and this case keeps that lesson alive.

Why haven't you chucked it by now?
No. I keep my glasses in it. Lessons and lost loves aside, lenses are really hard to clean.

Azara, 25, Streatham

So, how did you come to own this very twee book called Me WithoutYou?
My most recent ex bought me this present. We were seeing each other for about seven months, and then were together for about two months before it fell apart.

What's the story behind this it?
In the early days of us seeing each other, my ex was out shopping and came across this book that she thought was really cute for us.

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How did you feel about this gift at the time?
At the time I thought it was quite cute. A bit intense for the stage we were at, but I guess it was the thought [that counted]… Now it's really weird and hilarious.

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What makes it uniquely terrible?
This gift is awful because an ex gave me a book saying "Me Without You"… And the fact that now we aren't together just makes that book have a sour taste and just weird vibe.

How did you guys end up breaking it off?
We weren't getting on very well… But then I came to realize that she had eyes for someone else, who everyone said was my twin—freaky!—so we went our separate ways.

Did you ever consider chucking it? Why not?
I did every time I had a clear out. But I didn't, because I loved looking at it and being like, "I can't believe she got me that and we aren't together anymore." What a joke!

Fergus, 25, York

Who bought this for you?
I met this girl in Spain when we went there for a lads' trip. She used to work in a garden center in Spain so when she moved over to England she got me the gift from a B&Q sale and she was like, "Isn't this funny, it's just like the chickens they used to sell in the garden center in Spain," and yeah, we had a smile about it.

How did you feel about this gift at the time, and how do you feel about it now?

I loved it then. It's got a bit lost in the garden, but it's still in the garden, covered in leaves. I don't see it all the time, but when I do see it, it's fun.

What makes it uniquely awful, in your opinion?
It looks kinda shit but even when the gift was bought we were both aware that it was shit. It's knowingly shit.

How did you guys end up breaking up?
I broke her heart.

Did you ever consider chucking it?
No. I'm a hoarder. It looks good in the garden.