The Best Gifts for Aries, Other Than a Harness

Dry those Pisces season tears, and get ready to light a fire under your own rear: It’s Aries season (March 20 to April 20). Not familiar with the sign ruled by the headstrong ram? Well, it’s the first zodiac sign, and the unofficial reset for the rest of the astrological year (ask anyone with a hacky sack; they’ll agree) because it’s a cardinal sign, meaning it symbolizes leadership and the start of a new season. As a fire sign ruled by Mars, Aries is here to jettison you out of your winter SAD and into springtime hustler mode, no questions asked.  

Shopping for Aries should feel like shopping for a meteorite: chaotic, energizing, and a little unhinged. Aries jumps first and inspects later, probably owns multiple (and multi-purpose) harnesses, and, along with Leo, is one of the best hype men of the zodiac. Sure, they can be a little hot-headed and need far more validation than they’d ever admit, but as with their fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, they’re a straight shooter who prefers to tell it like it is rather than play games. Famous Aries babies include Loretta Lynn, Lady Gaga, and Aretha Franklin, and other people who would absolutely demolish us in a bar fight; unofficial things that exude Aries energy include Four Loko, roller blades, and intense eye contact; selfie sticks (Aries resides in the House of Self, which is exactly what it sounds like), making out at the bar, and licking the Flaming Hot Cheeto dust off your (and your roommate’s) fingers.

If the best gifts for Pisces were sentimental, then the best gifts for Aries are accessories to their full-throttle joy ride through life, and include everything from fidget toys to boxing shorts, chainmail bras to streetwear ‘fits and so much more. They might not be the sign with the most patience—but does that matter, when they’re already three steps ahead of everyone else? 

Look, Aries is busy. And when they’re not able to focus all of their unbridled energy on their own projects or eyeliner, they’re going to need a little bit of help staying focused. Luckily, fidget toys have evolved quite a bit since the basic fidget spinner hay day; Now we’re fiddling with dragon wings and a big, juicy dumpling?

Fortunately, Aries is also the name of a streetwear brand that was homegrown with soul by Sofia Prantera, and in a little over 10 years has turned out into one of the most tie-dyed, vibe-heavy labels at streetwear meccas such as Bodega, SSENSE Grailed, and it even made an appearance on the last season of The White Lotus. Everything about Prantera’s designs says, “HEY, OVER HERE” in the most perfect, fly-by Aries fashion, from a hardcore baseball cap to this “Aries! Arise!” T-shirt/summoning garment.

If you’re truly blanking on the best gifts for an Aries, you could always go for this trio of bestselling sauces from Fly by Jing, the maker of our favorite tinned smoked salmon. We’d swerve for the Sichuan chile crisp alone, but this trio package includes the brand’s tangy Zhong sauce and the bestselling Mala spice mix, which is “a potent mix of 11 herbs and spices that adds instant oomph to any dish.” Drizzle a little chile crisp over your Aries’ vanilla bean ice cream, and watch them swoon.

Maybe your Aries has a lot of Libra in their chart, too, and would prefer a gift that speaks to their taste in luxurious apparel and accessories. There’s so much great zodiac-inspired jewelry out there, but Awe Inspired sets itself apart from the pack—just like your Aries—by offering a wide selection of chain options to go with their pendants. 

It’s almost Thigh Season, lads and lizards. Whether or not you’re a fan of 5 inch inseams on the street, we encourage you to flaunt those ham hocks from the comfort of your own home in a pair of retro boxing shorts; They’ll look great at the beach, on the couch, and give off major The Big Lebowski energy with a cozy house robe. If they’re actually interested in getting physical, you could gift them a classic pair of Everlast training gloves and a few boxing classes at Overthrow. 

You know what goes best with chainmail? The rockin’ bod of every Aries and Enyacore bébé. This would look great layered over a sheer turtleneck, underneath an oversized blazer, or front-row at the Renn Faire.

You already know that Aries is going to be amped for festival season, and a clever stash jar or flask for their clam chowder of choice will be very appreciated. This “ice pack” has earned high ratings on Amazon from over 100 reviews, including one fan who writes, “[I] used at Austin City Limits music festival, worked great for sneaking in alcohol.”

Aries! Can you just—shhhhut it. We know you’re usually right about everything, but can you please close that hot mouth of yours for two seconds?

Lightning Reaction Reloaded is the kind of game that was made for Aries, because it lightly electrocutes its players (seriously) and looks like something from Star Trek. I played it on my birthday with a fire sign friend who grew up grabbing electric fences in Nebraska, and they didn’t just love it—I believe, “Give me more” was the review.  

… Zapping on a budget? This electrifying game will zap the fingertips of your friends, lovers, and enemies for around $15. (Typical Aries behavior.)

Remember, these are just a few of the best gifts for Aries that we could conjur on a whim. When in doubt, give your ram something sincere and spicy (a kiss would be nice!!) and a wad of cash. See you come Taurus season, when it’s time to bust-out the silk pajamas and truffle oil pizza.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.