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CBT taught me that actually, an unlocked front door is not the sole cause of burglaries, and over time, I stopped checking the front door as much. I started walking away and living my life. When it came to launching rockets in Kerbal Space Program, I realized that, realistically, my desire to see what happens when I hit the launch button was so great, my desire to live, to experience things, that I was willing to take the risk. I didn't check the ship. I didn't alter the design. I launched, I watched it crash, and I kept going. I forced the guilt down and I did it over and over again.When it comes to environments that we can design, those with OCD, you'll find, tend to organize things slightly differently. Not noticeably, but they will set themselves up in a way that minimizes their anxieties. Creating areas in games in god sims and real-time strategy titles has long been the same for me. Obsessive behavior relating to symmetry and counting often led to me wasting time, resources and doing worse in games. Everything had to fit. Nothing could feel out of place. It was frustrating, and difficult to work through.Article continues after the video belowPlaying Cities: Skylines has helped me face up to this problem and push past it. Sure, I still like pretty, organized cities, and at first, I was carefully planning things out before realizing that as a city expands, it needs to change, rewrite itself—buildings must come down in favor of highways, and houses must make way for apartments. It forces you to accept change or fail—its consequences, rare for a video game, can feel as severe as those in real life, in that sense, for those with this kind of anxiety.I didn't check the ship. I didn't alter the design. I launched, I watched it crash, and I kept going. I forced the guilt down and I did it over and over again.
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Jamie Madigan, psychology and games design theorist and author of Getting Gamers: The Psychology of Video Games and Their Impact on the People Who Play Them, tells me that games can be a good environment in which we can learn to take greater risks and explore without the danger. "We can not only set our own goals, but take whatever paths we want to get to them. What city planner in the real world could simply bulldoze a high-income suburb simply to make room for a football stadium? Real life is full of compromises and restrictions, and for good reasons. Video games are much more less so by design and let you experiment and experience more meaningful choices."This is the important thing about video games for people with a lifelong fear of risk. By constantly showing you that taking considerable risks can lead to great rewards, it encourages you to start pushing yourself that little bit more in real life. In that sense, video games become therapy of a sort, enabling you to put yourself in anxiety-causing situations and push through them as a training simulator for the risks, trials, and tribulations of reality.Video games become therapy of a sort, enabling you to put yourself in anxiety-causing situations and push through them as a training simulator for the risks, trials, and tribulations of reality.
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It's possible to push the concept of irreversible risk even further, by playing games that remove your option for manual saves and enforce permanent choice. XCOM: Enemy Unknown is a great example of this, with its Ironman mode making every soldier's death permanent, and refusing to allow you to undo your mistakes, but allowing you to continue forward and learn from them. It's a good life lesson in general, but when you're trying to physically force yourself to use the same hand for your wallet that you used to hold onto the escalator handrail, lest you look like you're reaching for a gun in a train station, it's a vital one.We're used to using games as something to alleviate depression, but when it comes to disorders like OCD, it's easy to think of them as too complex to address with a bunch of bullets and space aliens. But using video games to train those with OCD that risks can be adventure, and that you can't control everything save for how you react, is important. We're allowing people to find their own healthy way of using media to treat problems, and for me, launching rockets and building suburbs has allowed me to explore ongoing issues I still face and treat them with little experiments in pushing my fear of risk. I am not my illness—just an aerospace engineer working on his nerves, and a city planner deliberately placing something asymmetrically and gritting his teeth.Read on Motherboard: My Game of Life
If you feel that you are experiencing mental health problems, there are many organizations and charities that you can turn to for advice. For US readers, visit the Mental Health America website.Follow Christos Reid on Twitter.