Previewing the Olympic Hopes of Australia's Matildas

It's a leap year, which means it's Olympics time. 2016 sees the first time the Games will travel down to South America and while it's too early to tell if Rio will be an unprecedented disaster or just one more victim to the traditional pre-Olympiad fear-mongering about the suitability of a non-European host, we can start looking at who'll be cramming themselves into those weird toothpaste commercial/third rate private school uniforms and representing Australia on the global stage.

Women's Soccer (officially 'Association Football' according to the IOC. Don't call it that.)

The Matildas (I'm fairly sure the only national team named from a folk song about stealing livestock, but there's a lot of countries competing so I can't be 100% certain.)

Tina Weymouth in Talking Heads. Everyone's too busy looking at weirdly enthralling David Byrne doing his thing (whatever his thing is at the time, like collaborating with obscure Europeans) at the front of the stage that they forget to look slightly behind him to see her putting together some impressively complete, satisfyingly in-rhythm performances that really tie everything together. Basically, they're criminally underappreciated.

The Matildas: satisfying, in-rhythm, underappreciated

As of 24th June, currently 5th.

The Matildas have qualified for the Olympics twice before: at Sydney 2000 (as host, they automatically qualified) where a 1-1 draw with Sweden was their best result, and Athens 2004, where they actually won a game (Greece, 1-0) and managed to keep their other group matches to low scoring affairs, drawing 1-1 with the United States and going down with a respectable 1-0 to Brazil, before being bounced 2-1 to Sweden in the quarter finals. In a combined 7 games in Olympic competition, they have a 1-2-5 record and have scored 5 goals cumulatively, so offence has not been their strongpoint.

The good news is that the Matildas have become a legitimate international side in the 12 years since they last qualified, including winning the AFC Women's Asian Cup in 2010 and finishing 2nd in 2014. They've also made it to the knockout stages of the last three FIFA World Cups, so they've had some international success.

The Matildas have not been beaten in international play in 2016*, racking up an impressive set of victories in the Olympic qualifiers to finish top of their group, including a solid 3-1 win away over Japan and a 9-0 thrashing of Vietnam. The only other Olympic team they've met this year was China, and facing off for their 5th game in 10 days with Olympic qualification already locked up for both sides, you shouldn't read too much into a lacklustre 1-1 result.

About that asterisk… back in May the Matildas played a warm up match against the Newcastle Jets Under 15s Boys team. They lost 7-0. So, there's that. Former Socceroo and $5000-a-week-coke-habit-having Mark Bosnich used the result as evidence against the Matildas campaign for fair pay, because obviously if they wanted to receive a basic living wage to play elite soccer they should work harder to find time to train as a team in-between their day jobs, professional club commitments and private lives.

It's not exactly a commercial so much as a PSA but this Cyber Safety video with the Australian Federal Police ticks all the boxes for classic cheesy education videos using athletes. Don't leave your net open to attack!

Don't leave your net open to attack. Here — AFP National Media (@AFPmedia)July 11, 2016

Perth born co-captain Lisa De Vanna is the only player remaining from the 2004 Athens team which finished 5th, but her game has come a long way since her first international tournament as a 19 year old. Since then she's won two W-League titles, was a member of the 2010 Asian Cup winning side, and is now three goals away from becoming the Matildas all time leading goal scorer.

She's the first woman to score at three consecutive World Cups, and was nominated for 2007 FIFA World Player of the Year after guiding the Matildas to a 6th placed finish, their best result at the World Cup. In the lead up to achieving all of that, she had to work at her local servo to support her rigorous six-session-a-week training regime, but hey, 7-0 in a scratch match against an academy side! How could Football Australia possibly justify paying our national members any more money after that ludicrous display? They should clearly keep funnelling the money into the Socceroos, who failed to qualify for Rio behind international heavyweights Iraq.

She also has a history of on and off-field incidents, including a two game suspension in 2014 while playing for Perth Glory for abusing coaching staff and officials and giving the crowd the finger, and being sent home from a 2011 Matildas camp from a period of time for failing to meet "basic obligations". A series of PR interviews in the lead up to the Olympics have her saying all the right things and Coach Alan Stajcic has rewarded her efforts with the co-captaincy, so it looks like that's all water under the bridge.

At 16 year-old, Western Sydney Wanderers' defender Ellie Carpenter is the youngest athlete currently in the Australian Olympic team. In fact, upon making her international debut in the Vietnam game in March, she became the first player, male or female, born in the 21st century to make an Australian senior national team. She beat out her Wanderers teammate and captain Caitlin Cooper for a spot in the squad so big things are expected of her this tournament.

Group F is a mixed bag for the Matildas, who will kick off two days before the Opening Ceremony against 2012 brozne medalist Canada on 3rd August, before playing powerhouses Germany on the 6th and lowly ranked Zimbabwe on the 9th. The last time the Matildas played any of these sides was a 2-1 loss in a friendly against Germany in October 2010, so there's not much in the way of recent form to go off.

They're almost a lock to make it past the group stage, where they would likely play one of Brazil, France, or the United States in the quarter finals. If they can get over that opponent and reach the semis, they'll essentially get two bites of the apple to finish on the podium. With their impressive lead in during the qualifiers, some key injuries to their opponents, and a youthful, athletic squad, the Matildas will be legitimately challenging for a medal finish in Rio.

Wade is a writer living in Perth. Follow him on Twitter.