Hide Your Vibe in Plain Sight With This Ridiculously Cute Mushroom Vibrator

Wake up and smell the mycelium, because we’re in the midst of a mushroom renaissance. Not that shrooms have ever not been fascinating, but ever since the Netflix documentary Fantastic Fungi came out during lockdown, the world has become increasingly ensorcelled by mushrooms of all varieties. Remember when tiny, Valencia-filtered succulents and cacti were trending on everyone’s Instagram around 2017? Millennials are still one of the main drivers of the resulting succulent boom, and I think that shrooms are next in line to that throne; They’re on rugs, mugs, lamps, and even sex toys. Meet the Shroomie Rechargeables Mushroom Vibrator:  

The Maia brand vibe just launched at Lovers, one of my favorite sexual wellness retailers and the masterminds behind Playboy’s first-ever line of sex toys. As both a Deadhead and a fan of sex toys shaped like ogres, snails, and crystal tentacles, I thought I would be the perfect person to review the shroom vibrator to see if it would actually be worth the novelty factor, and maybe even conjure the best riffs from Steely Dan mid-climax. 

Listen, not every sex toy is well-packaged. I have often been the sad recipient of crumpled-up, cheap boxes of the most beautiful toys, which is not only a bummer but a boner-deflater. But this little shroom arrived looking like the prettiest pony at the parade: 

Damn, that’s one soft tip, was my first thought upon holding Shroomie. The cap of this vibrator is made out of a squishy, body-safe silicone that feels the way I always imagined a Mario Kart Super Mushroom would. That alone makes this talented mushroom special to me. 

At 4.5 inches in length, I knew that this Shroomie would be somewhere in-between a palm- and bullet-sized vibrator; But after using it, I would also classify it as a great lay-on vibrator for vulva-owners who grew up humping tasseled pillows on their parents’ 2000s Tuscan-inspired couch. The slightly curved handle—sorry, stem—of this shroom also doesn’t vibrate, which makes it easy to maneuver around your cooch as you grind on it. 

There’s no wrong way to use this toy (just don’t put it up your ass), although it sure does knock its main function as a clitoral vibrator out of the park. The squishy, bulbous form of Shroomie’s cap makes it ideal for anyone with a more sensitive clitoris who still wants direct, but broad clitoral stimulation. I used it while laying on my back, and I never felt inhibited to explore the vibe’s 15 different settings, no matter how hard I pressed it against my body. That über-soft cap was both the perfect buffer for and distributor of its horny vibrations.  

I wish that there was an option to make the stem of Shroomie vibrate as well. As a humpable vibrator, that added function could help it transform into a vibrating dildo as well. 

There are some sex toys that rely heavily on their novelty factor, but Shroomie actually delivers when it comes to great clitoral orgasms. The broad, soft silicone “cap” of the toy makes it a sick choice for beginners or folks with sensitive clits, while the actual palm-sized nature of the vibe makes it ideal for taking on planes, trains, and even your next foraging experience. In these increasingly goblincore times, I can’t think of a more serotonin-inducing sex toy to add to my lineup.  

Purchase the Shroomie Rechargeable Mushroom Vibrator at Lovers.

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