As copy editor of VICE.com, it's my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and "fuccboi" is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they're good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Often they're about sex. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of May 1. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.
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- Listen to fat people.- When is the last time you've seen a fireman holding a shotgun?- But there's an ineffable sweetness conveyed in that kiss and whisper, mid-assfuck, that makes me wish I could live in that moment forever.- Yes, her vagina basically eats him.- Does that mean that we should smoke all the cigarettes we want?- I could spoil the shit out of those kids.- She quit smoking at 117 and claims to have eaten two pounds of chocolate a week.- You don't know the origin of that erection—you can see it as the best or the worst.- With phase one complete, all they had to do now was find their statistics exam and get out.- The fact that we can post a video of the president motorboating Rudy Giuliani's tits or call him a snack food without fear of retribution should not be taken for granted.- I don't know what most people my age stress about, but I stress about why I deserve to be alive and what I'm doing to actually help the world.- As his car was spiraling into a fiery doom, he noticed Tony Hawk, the pro skater, was standing nearby filming the whole hellish scene before him.Follow Alex Norcia on Twitter.