Hypothesis: Celebrities are actually fully grown children, whose emotional maturity has been stunted by a lifetime spent obsessed with one particular goal.Proof: Lavish, usually themed, birthday parties.Adrian Peterson had himself a big old birthday party this weekend to celebrate turning 30. Which seems like a weird thing to celebrate as a running back since it usually means your employable days are numbered. It's like 30 for the rest of us, only worse because you won't even have a job soon. But hey, do you, AP.
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It's also strange, throwing yourself a ridiculous party where you play dress up and ride animals, when you haven't played in a season because you beat your four-year-old son with a switch. Have a party, that's cool, but leave something for the kids.Which brings us to this whole "Arabian Nights" theme. Adrian Peterson entered his 30th birthday party on a camel wearing dress robes and a turban. There was an "Arabian Nights" themed ice bar, the great nation of Arabia being known the world over for its ice bars. As well as an enormous "Arabian Nights" themed birthday cake, the great nation of Arabia being renowned for its unwieldy fondant-covered cakes with mini versions of AP aboard a magic carpet.
And, of course, there was an "Arabian Nights" themed dance-off to Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" with Jamie Foxx, the great nation of Arabia being known above all else for its Michael Jackson dance-offs performed by Jamie Foxx.
Happy 30th, you crass weirdo.h/t Deadspin@iamjamiefoxx showed up and poured up!!! That was real to be at @AdrianPeterson party! #TexasWays pic.twitter.com/RVb0GC59Ls
— Joe Davis (@jd0075) March 22, 2015