Do you enjoy the feeling of being stuffed into a a rush hour train—just trying to get home to a warm bed and New Girl—with a stranger's armpit hair encroaching on your nostrils? Or maybe you just need more reasons to hate your fellow humans? If so, this list of the year's worst parties is for you.These are the most offensively-themed ragers to have scorched the earth during the last 365 days—the ones that spawned open letters and media outrage, followed by "OMG we had no idea this would be controversial" non-apologies, followed by a few status updates from your most self-righteous Facebook friends, followed by… nothing, until the whole cycle started up again.By no means is this list comprehensive; we played pretty fast and loose with the requirements, and pretty much just chose parties that caused the most moral ruckus. Oh, and we deliberately left out all mentions of Duke University… because they literally have had enough "pedo parties and racist ragers" to fill up an entire page.So get your wagging finger ready. Here's our compendium of the eight most infamously offensive parties of 2013.
World-Star Hip-Hop Presents: Hood Ratchet Thursday
Guilty Party: University of Michigan's Theta Chi fraternity
The Breakdown: This is what happens when World-Star goes mainstream: a party that called for "rappers, twerkers, gangsters (no Bloods allowed), thugs, basketball players, bad bitches, ratchet pussy" and had the mission statement, "Started from da bottom now we here but now we goin back to da hood again!!" Oh, and in the most telling example of why this party would have obviously ruled (if the school hadn't forced the frat to cancel): the winner of a twerking contest was promised a Kindle. A Kindle.
Level of pitchfork-raising: High, because a lot of frat communities just don't seem to learn a lesson—and that's the issue we should be worried about.
Madam Wu's Good Luck Banquet of the Senses
Guilty Party: Rubulad
The Breakdown: The usually-astute Brooklyn nightlife outfit Rubulad got splashed with a heavy dose of Internet haterade for an ill-conceived party with an "asian" theme, which they rather idiotically decided to call Madam Wu's Good Luck Banquet of the Senses, or Last Ride on the Orient Express. The original flier, which was quickly taken down, stipulated the dress code as "coolie couture." I'm guessing the organizers had no idea that "coolie" was a term for Asian low-wage laborers in the 19th and 20th century.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Low, because the well-regarded camp did the right thing (took down the flyer, renamed the party) and is otherwise known for their inclusiveness.
Disco Africa
Guilty Party: Milan's fashion elite
Costumes of Note: Italian designer Allesangro Dell' Acqua in blackface, complete with puffy white-painted lips. Dolce & Gabbana's Stefano Gabbana and publicist Juan Fran Sierra in feather headpieces and animal print suits. Vogue Japan's Anna Dello Russo in the exact same getup (gosh, racism is so awkward sometimes).
The Breakdown: After the inevitable backlash, organizers apologized… on Instagram. "It was never our intention to [offend]. We had named the party Disco Africa to reflect the growing influence of Africain the design and fashion world… these interpretations are all the more upsetting because most people in the fashion industry… have always taken a strong stance against social discrimination." Oh, and they didn't forget to use the #discoafrica hashtag.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Medium, because these coked-out idiots know not what they do.
Colonial Bros and Nava-Hos
Guilty Party: Multiple Greek organizations in the California Polytechnic State University
The Breakdown: Yet another racist rager thrown by the college crowd. When will people learn that redface is not okay? Interviewed by their local paper, a frat member named Daniel said, "It's unfair. We are taught that Thanksgiving is pilgrims and Indians." The school has a history of terribly-themed parties; in 2008, students created a Halloween display with a noose, a Confederate flag, and slurs towards blacks, gay people, and hippies.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Medium, because it would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
Guantanamo Coachella
Guilty Party: Flaunt Magazine, with sponsors True Religion and Smashbox
The Breakdown: The cringe-worthy invitation depicted half-naked girls carrying automatic weapons, holding blindfolded beachgoers hostage, teasing "pleasurable torture courtesy Smashbox Studios." Yep, they went there.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Low, because this was obviously conceived by a PR agent with free samples for brains.
Southern Plantation-Themed Wedding
Guilty party: Paula Deen
The Breakdown: As everyone remembers, Paula shocked the world when she spoke earnestly about a "very Southern-style wedding" she wanted to have for her brother, modeled after a restaurant where the "whole entire wait staff was middle-aged black men."
Level of pitchfork-raising: High, because how the fuck do you get to this level and still not learn how to keep your vile views to yourself, if only for the sake of self-preservation?
Hackers and Hookers
Guilty Party: a member-based community center in San Francisco called Hacker Hideout
The Breakdown: Because misogyny in the tech industry is totally not an issue, a group of brogrammers decided to throw a classic nerds and sluts party. And when confronted, they offered the following weak-ass apology: "We would like to start by saying it was not our intention to offend or upset anyone, but it can be hard to please the whole world and the different cultures, values and beliefs that exists."
Level of pitchfork-raising: High, because they're not really sorry.
Greedy Jews
Guilty Party: Living Social
The Breakdown: Struggling deal-site Living Social threw a Halloween with a "seven deadly sins" theme, with each room decorated according to a different vice, like lust, pride, wrath, and gluttony. The problem: the "sin of greed" room had dreidels on the walls. Surrounded by golden coins.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Low, because Jews run this industry, and you can only imagine how quickly the scapegoat for this embarrassment got fired.
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Guilty Party: University of Michigan's Theta Chi fraternity
The Breakdown: This is what happens when World-Star goes mainstream: a party that called for "rappers, twerkers, gangsters (no Bloods allowed), thugs, basketball players, bad bitches, ratchet pussy" and had the mission statement, "Started from da bottom now we here but now we goin back to da hood again!!" Oh, and in the most telling example of why this party would have obviously ruled (if the school hadn't forced the frat to cancel): the winner of a twerking contest was promised a Kindle. A Kindle.
Level of pitchfork-raising: High, because a lot of frat communities just don't seem to learn a lesson—and that's the issue we should be worried about.
Guilty Party: Rubulad
The Breakdown: The usually-astute Brooklyn nightlife outfit Rubulad got splashed with a heavy dose of Internet haterade for an ill-conceived party with an "asian" theme, which they rather idiotically decided to call Madam Wu's Good Luck Banquet of the Senses, or Last Ride on the Orient Express. The original flier, which was quickly taken down, stipulated the dress code as "coolie couture." I'm guessing the organizers had no idea that "coolie" was a term for Asian low-wage laborers in the 19th and 20th century.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Low, because the well-regarded camp did the right thing (took down the flyer, renamed the party) and is otherwise known for their inclusiveness.
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Guilty Party: Milan's fashion elite
Costumes of Note: Italian designer Allesangro Dell' Acqua in blackface, complete with puffy white-painted lips. Dolce & Gabbana's Stefano Gabbana and publicist Juan Fran Sierra in feather headpieces and animal print suits. Vogue Japan's Anna Dello Russo in the exact same getup (gosh, racism is so awkward sometimes).
The Breakdown: After the inevitable backlash, organizers apologized… on Instagram. "It was never our intention to [offend]. We had named the party Disco Africa to reflect the growing influence of Africain the design and fashion world… these interpretations are all the more upsetting because most people in the fashion industry… have always taken a strong stance against social discrimination." Oh, and they didn't forget to use the #discoafrica hashtag.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Medium, because these coked-out idiots know not what they do.
Guilty Party: Multiple Greek organizations in the California Polytechnic State University
The Breakdown: Yet another racist rager thrown by the college crowd. When will people learn that redface is not okay? Interviewed by their local paper, a frat member named Daniel said, "It's unfair. We are taught that Thanksgiving is pilgrims and Indians." The school has a history of terribly-themed parties; in 2008, students created a Halloween display with a noose, a Confederate flag, and slurs towards blacks, gay people, and hippies.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Medium, because it would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
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Guilty Party: Flaunt Magazine, with sponsors True Religion and Smashbox
The Breakdown: The cringe-worthy invitation depicted half-naked girls carrying automatic weapons, holding blindfolded beachgoers hostage, teasing "pleasurable torture courtesy Smashbox Studios." Yep, they went there.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Low, because this was obviously conceived by a PR agent with free samples for brains.
Guilty party: Paula Deen
The Breakdown: As everyone remembers, Paula shocked the world when she spoke earnestly about a "very Southern-style wedding" she wanted to have for her brother, modeled after a restaurant where the "whole entire wait staff was middle-aged black men."
Level of pitchfork-raising: High, because how the fuck do you get to this level and still not learn how to keep your vile views to yourself, if only for the sake of self-preservation?
Guilty Party: a member-based community center in San Francisco called Hacker Hideout
The Breakdown: Because misogyny in the tech industry is totally not an issue, a group of brogrammers decided to throw a classic nerds and sluts party. And when confronted, they offered the following weak-ass apology: "We would like to start by saying it was not our intention to offend or upset anyone, but it can be hard to please the whole world and the different cultures, values and beliefs that exists."
Level of pitchfork-raising: High, because they're not really sorry.
Guilty Party: Living Social
The Breakdown: Struggling deal-site Living Social threw a Halloween with a "seven deadly sins" theme, with each room decorated according to a different vice, like lust, pride, wrath, and gluttony. The problem: the "sin of greed" room had dreidels on the walls. Surrounded by golden coins.
Level of pitchfork-raising: Low, because Jews run this industry, and you can only imagine how quickly the scapegoat for this embarrassment got fired.