I Road Tested a Squirt Blanket. No, Not Like That.

Let’s all take a moment to remember all the bedsheets, towels and sexy lingerie that we’ve lost to a good romp. Between both male and female ejaculation, periods, sweat and other bodily fluids, sex is can get super messy. Enter: sex blankets. 

A sex or squirt blanket is a specially designed blanket that’s 100% waterproof and absorbs all kinds of liquids — periods, cum, squirting, lube etc. All you have to do is lay it down before you have sex or masturbate and it’ll protect your linen while you get down and dirty. 

According to the creator of “Splash Blankets”, they can hold up to a litre of fluid, which is just absolutely wild stuff. How could this one little blanket hold so much? I decided to put it to the test. And no. Not like that.

The squirt blanket was designed with super-soft fleece on one side, while the other is smooth velvet, so it’s much nicer than that musty ol’ towel you’ve been whacking down. It looks like any other innocuous couch throw but is 100% waterproof, reversible, and absorbent.

Unlike many waterproof mats, where the liquid pools on top, it absorbs all forms of sex juices, oils, lubes and bodily fluids into the fleece. 

According to Splash Blanket, it can hold up to a litre of liquid.

Without literally laying my body on the line, I decided to put this little baby to the test by pouring a big ol’ cup of water on it — and would you have a look at this…

It didn’t leak through, not a drop.

I was honestly dumbfounded when I saw the results and was slightly mad that I didn’t know it existed sooner. I could have saved myself at least 10 sets of bougie linen sheets.

After seeing this, all the benefits of owning a sex blanket immediately came to mind. Aside from the obvious fuss-free cleaning up if you’re someone who squirts or gushes during an orgasm, they’re also perfect if you’re into period sex.

On the non-sexual side of things, this would be the perfect blanket to throw down when you’re deathly hungover, binge-watching episode after episode of The Office, while munching on some pizza and attempting to drink while laying down.

As for cleaning it, you literally just chuck it in the wash on a cold, delicate setting (sans fabric softener) and peg it out to air dry. Or just chuck it in the drier for a low tumble dry.

Apparently, they last up to 100 washes and are also stain-proof, so go your hardest.

I’m going to go ahead and say that if you’re a gusher, into period sex or just generally want to save your sheets from the dreaded post-cum clean up, this might just be the best money you’ve ever spent. You can get your hands on a sex blanket right here.

As you might have noticed, the squirt blanket I put to the test was a winter blanket. However, the folks over at Splash Blanket have just released a summer blanket that’s made from bamboo and starts at $69.

Oh, and btw, you can use the code ‘VICE15’ at the checkout for a nice little discount.

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