How To Have Fun at a House Party

Anyone who’s been to a proper house party and enjoyed it will tell you that it beats any overpriced bar, pretentious club, or haphazard music festival. Nowhere else can people have as much fun with as little worries. As another writer put it: “The house party, done correctly, is potentially one of the most beautiful collective experiences on the planet. It’s a lawless zone that even the most hedonistic of clubs can’t compete with… It’s the land of the thrifty, the wild, the free!” 

But the chaotic intimacy and delicate ecosystem of a house party can also be intimidating and difficult to navigate—the line between making yourself comfortable and getting too comfortable, for example, can get blurrier with every drink, pill, or bump.

Luckily, like other things that have to do with hedonistic and dionysian pleasures, enjoying a house party is a skill you can learn. I know this simply from having attended my fair share. 

There are no hard and fast rules to having a good time, and if you’ve been invited to a house party, it’s probably because whoever made the guest list likes a thing or two about the way you do things. You hopefully practice basic house guest etiquette, like helping the host lay out food and drinks or refilling ice buckets, and don’t do things that will get anyone in trouble with the landlord, neighbors, or the police. If that’s the case, just being yourself is likely a good enough way to make sure you and everyone around you have a good time. But there are some useful things to note when that’s not quite enough advice. 

House parties don’t normally come with a door charge, and that’s exactly why you should bring the host and/or other guests a gift when you arrive. 

Maybe it’s a six-pack or a few good bottles, some extra bags and pills, or a couple of boxes of cigarettes. It could even be some laser lights or a fog machine you’re lending just for the night. If you spin and think there might be a DJ set-up, bring your USB. If not, have a good playlist handy. If you don’t have anything on you, ask if you can have something delivered.

Of course, bringing something to the table doesn’t excuse any shit behavior, but it does help you start things off on a good note and make you a little more comfortable throughout the party. 

The thing about house parties is you never quite know what’s going to happen. Maybe there’s a pool. Maybe things get hot and raunchy and you need to shower after. Maybe you end up passing out and staying the night. Not being prepared for the kind of fun you’re going to have could keep you from having any fun at all. 

But if you pack an overnight bag—with a change of clothes, a toothbrush, your prescription and over-the-counter meds, and other essentials—you don’t really have to know anything, because you’re ready for everything. This also saves you from having to borrow things from the hosts or other guests. Some of them wouldn’t mind, of course, but they’d mind even less if you had your own stuff. 

That said, don’t show up like an excited camper ready to stay for as long as humanly possible. That could be a turn-off for a host who isn’t ready to host you for the night. Keep the bag in your or a friend’s car until you’re sure you need it. If that’s not an option, just throw in a little white lie and say you came from somewhere else. 

House parties are meant to be more easy-going than a regular night out. That means that the worst thing you can do is be nervous or uptight, and the best thing you can do is make yourself at home without making anyone, well, uncomfortable. Drop the social masks, ditch the attitude, and act like how you’d want people in your home to act—honest, friendly, and at ease. 

This will vary at each party, but in general: Go ahead and pour yourself a drink and get cozy on the couch, but maybe don’t go rummaging around the fridge, rearranging furniture, or hijacking the music without asking.  

House parties are a rare opportunity to put on those feather boas, harnesses and jockstraps, neon wigs, platform heels, and other things you probably don’t want (or won’t be allowed) to wear in public. 

Get crazy—you can always slip into something else whenever you want. 

On one hand, it takes you out of the moment. On the other, it just makes you look like you don’t want to be there.

Outside of taking a few pictures, queueing a song, or getting someone’s number or Instagram username, keep the screen time to a minimum. 

If you have trouble making friends, don’t fret. A house party is probably the easiest place to do it. The crowd has likely been handpicked, so you must have some things in common with everyone; you have at least one friend who can introduce you to everyone else; and there are hopefully some quiet rooms and corners for proper conversations.

Make sure you get to know one other person at the very least, but go for the whole guest list if you can. 

Now, don’t overstay your welcome, but there’s a certain something that happens in the wee hours of a house party—other guests have gone home, you know you should check your phone but don’t really want to and can’t find it anyway, everyone’s missing a vape, there’s barely anything left to drink or take, and somebody offers to call in your first meal in 12 hours. 

I can’t quite explain what it is, but it feels like that’s where the magic happens. If you can make it to and through that point, you must have had your fun. 

You know you’ve done everything right when you eventually get invited to another house party by the same hosts. That’s because having fun and getting invited again means that other people had fun with you, too. 

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