Women Told Us About the Shittiest Things Their Boyfriends Have Ever Done

Today, insanely, is Boyfriend Day. As daysoftheyear.com justifies it: "You know who doesn't get enough recognition? Boyfriends. There's a Wives Day, a Girlfriends Day, a Mother's Day, a Woman's Day, but none of these represent the wonderful person who puts up with you day by day, your boyfriend. Boyfriend's Day is the perfect excuse to tell them how much you appreciate them."

So there you go.

If, like me, you are without-boyfriend and would rather spend the 3rd of October sitting at home with your pets in peace, reading about how shitty boyfriends can be, try this: a load of short Q&As with women about the worst things their boyfriends have ever done. Happy Boyfriend Day, everyone!

VICE: Hi! What is the stupidest shit your boyfriend has ever done?
Mandy: One time when we were play-fighting he kneed me in the face and gave me a bloody nose. We were on holiday in Prague and it was my birthday. I mean, it was by accident, but I was like Oh My God… and he started crying because my nose was bleeding everywhere. Oh, and the first ever present he got me was a cheap, tacky metal necklace, like you get on holiday, that said "Cunt".

Oh nice!
I mean, we're both just as bad as each other, really, but I guess to other people they were a bit confused about the necklace.

So do you think you could do better?
No, I don't think so. It's funny, because we knew each other when we were 11, and ten years later we started talking again. I wouldn't change a thing!

Because you seem lucky enough to have quite a nice one, are you a fan of the idea of Boyfriend Day?
It seems pretty stupid. Is there Girlfriend Day, I wonder? I guess it's just one of those fun things for people to talk about.

Thanks, Mandy.

What is the stupidest thing a boyfriend has ever done?
Alexandra: Okay, so one guy knew I was really into cooking, like a budding chef. So one year for Valentine's Day he got me a deep fat fryer. When you're normally meant to get flowers or perfume, he got me a deep fat frier. That's it.

Was he like, "Make me some chips, babe"?
There was no irony there. And you know a guy isn't in love with you if he starts buying you practical gifts. I mean, I know I liked cooking, but that is the most unromantic thing ever. And he should have known better, because he was older – I was 22 and he was in his forties. Guys in their forties should know better than to buy a young woman a deep fat fryer.

So did you guys break up because of that?
No, we broke up because I started noticing his bum was saggy. It was giving me the creeps. When we first met it didn't bother me, but I just started to notice it.

You can't un-notice that kind of thing. So looking back, do you think you could have done better?
Yeah, of course! Any 22-year-old would have been better than a 40-year-old guy. But he was tall and I'm really tall…

What is the stupidest thing a boyfriend has ever done?
Sandra: I bought tickets to go to Romania last year and he just decided not to come any more – after I had paid for them. I think he was scared of seeing Romania, because it was my country and he was scared of meeting everyone around me. Which was stupid. I think it wasn't nice, especially because I had paid for it. I asked for the money back but he never gave it to me.

So do you feel like you were a bit out of his league?
I don't think you can compare people like that. People are different, and I don't think you can be better or worse than someone. We just make decisions in our lives that make us seem better or worse at that particular time.

That is a much more mature perspective than I would take, Sandra.

So what is the stupidest thing a boyfriend has ever done?
Fee: Well, I have a girlfriend. But I recently went on a hen night / stag-do type thing where the couple was playing Mr and Mrs, and the girl's mother was there. They were talking about what makes them argue the most, and they both have to guess, and he says the in-laws. So her mum starts crying. It was awful. The bride was like, "You've ruined it, you've ruined it." But they're still getting married in a few weeks; I think she was just really drunk. But he still had to call up and tell her he was just kidding.

Oh boy. So what are your thoughts on the idea of Boyfriend Day in general?
I think it's shite. If you're with someone you should just like them every day.

True. Thanks, Fee!

So what is the stupidest thing your boyfriend has ever done?
Mary: I think it's probably much easier to say the stupidest things I've done! One guy who wasn't really my boyfriend did abandon me halfway through a film. We were with another couple and for some reason he just felt awkward and left.

Were you super angry?
I wasn't impressed. We weren't together, but I think he wanted to have a girlfriend-boyfriend type relationship. Which I guess is pretty silly of him too.

If you think back to all of your past boyfriends, what is the dumbest thing any of them have done?
Anna: I got dumped on Valentine's Day. That was pretty bad. When we met up it became clear that he was going to split up with me. I was like, "Do you know what day it is? It's Valentine's Day," and he was like, "Ohhhhh shit." So that was pretty stupid – there are so many signs in, like, every shop you go into. But he was quite stupid.

So could you have done better?
That's a mean question, but let's hope so.

Thanks, Anna.