How to Become the Most Ratchet Stripper in Florida
This is the story of Ratchet Regi, the viral video queen and resident top partier of the infamous Sausage Castle party house. I first encountered Regi last summer at the Gathering of the Juggalos, when I spotted her giving a 500-pound man a "lap-band...
Photos by Stacy Kranitz
As a native Floridian, I have met tons of wild young women, but I have never met a girl quite like Ratchet Regi, the self-proclaimed "most ratchet stripper in Orlando." She plays with snakes, squirts chocolate out of her vagina, climbs poles at outdoor strip clubs, and teaches girls how to twerk, all while wearing librarian glasses. The Kansas native is also the queen of the Sausage Castle, the pay-to-party house in Central Florida that specializes in throwing Bacchanalian bashes and is run by a fat Juggalo named Mike Busey.
I first encountered Regi last summer at the Gathering of the Juggalos, when I spotted her giving a 500-pound man a "lap-band dance." Da Mafia 6ix's DJ Paul posted a video of the smutty affair that went viral thanks to pickup from TMZ, MTV, and a bunch of other media outlets.
No one who knows Regi was surprised by that video or the fact that it was shared all over the internet. When I visited her and Mike at the Sausage Castle in October, numerous residents extolled her indecency to me-and these were people who were used to a certain amount of raunch. I heard stories in which her ratchetness reached mythic proportions-like the time she let her lesbian Sausage Castle roommate Kace fuck her with a Bud Light bottle during a Livestream broadcast as bait to ramp up their traffic.
But despite the salacious reputation, Regi describes her life as "very chill. There's not always super crazy things happening [at the Sausage Castle]." She spends a lot of time watching TV with her housemates and lounging in boxers in her bedroom, which boasts a giant painting of an Illuminati eye.
"Regi sold her soul to the Illuminati," Mike said. "That's why she's so viral right now."
Regi's first introduction to the Sausage Castle happened two years ago. A couple of her guy friends invited her to one of Mike's events. "'Regi, it's such a party house!'" she said her friends told her. "'You're gonna get fucked! Mike's gonna try and fuck you!'"
She walked into the house thinking, I'm not falling asleep here. I'm not staying with any of these bitches. Then she went upstairs to meet Mike in his office, and he introduced her to Kace, a lesbian who waits on tables at Chili's and has lived at the Sausage Castle for several years. She lives here?Regi thought. She's so pretty! Does she get raped? Then she realized the Sausage Castle favors girls over men-Mike doesn't even like guys.
"I'm a diva about random dudes," Mike said to me while I was at the house. "I tell the girls, 'Cock-block the shit out of them. Don't give them anything they deserve because it's all about a reward system here.'"
Regi never intended to move into the Sausage Castle. She just wanted to party. But the Castle has a gravitational pull for freaks like her. She became one of the house's permanent attractions after another of Mike's raging parties. After the event, she had plans to go home with a drunk clown and have sloppy Juggalo sex-but the guy crashed his car and broke his back down the road from the Castle. Regi stumbled out of the car and, with nowhere else to go, walked back down the street back to the Sausage Castle. She's been there ever since.
"That bitch is a vampire stripper," Mike said. "She will never die. Cigarettes, dicks, and cars with clowns can't kill her."
Since she moved in, she's become the star of the Sausage Castle's performances and Mike's unofficial ratchet sidekick. But she isn't the first "Busey Beauty" to steal the show. Around 2009 and 2010, Mike relied on a wild hillbilly lass named Buck-50 to draw degenerate partygoers to the Castle. Buck rose to the challenge by inventing the Sausage Castle's infamous "ass omelette," which involves shooting an egg into someone's butthole.
"She was the most ratchetness I-don'-give-a-fuck girl from Tennessee," Mike said. But when 12 Pack from VH1's I Love New York moved in, he got Buck-50 pregnant and she left with him to raise their child.
Although Regi has given the Sausage Castle more attention and publicity than even Buck-50, she credits Mike for running the show, though others say she's important in her own way.
"If you think about the dynamic of the house, as a whole, you have Mike, who's like the dad of the whole thing," Kace explained. "Then you have Regi, the ratchet bitch who pretty much just does whatever the fuck she wants with her vagina."
Unlike most people, Regi never stops working. Her main gig is stripping at a high-end club near the Orlando airport. But even on her time off, she enjoys doing crazy sex stuff. When I lived in the Castle for three days, she would just spontaneously start stripping for no reason at all. The most ratchet instance of her many unplanned strip sessions started as a pretty innocuous dance-off between her and a guy named Gay Aaron, who stays at the house occasionally to detox.
Someone put on Britney Spears's "I'm a Slave 4 U" and Regi's dancing got more intense. I'm not entirely sure where it came from, but all of a sudden she was brandishing a live snake. She started to peel off her clothes, one by one, until she was butt-ass naked with the snake. And then a prospective Busey Beauty named Liz, who had come over to the Castle, started dancing and stripping too.
Like most alternative families, the Sausage Castle family is generally suspicious of newcomers. So Regi took her downstairs to the living room, where there's a large stage with stripper poles, to have a strip-off to see if Liz could hang with the crew. The rest of the Sausage Castle watched from the surrounding church pews as Regi taught Liz how to shake her ass on the stage.
"One and two and three and four," Regi shouted. "I'll be here all day! Ratchet Regi, teaching you how to twerk through the night!"
Then the two girls started writhing up and down the stripper poles together. Liz humped the bottom of the pole as the family chanted, "Fuck the pole! Fuck the pole!" Then, taking this freak scene to its most logical conclusion, Mike told Regi to eat Liz's ass. Liz obliged. She bent over, with her ass in the air. And Regi stuck out her pink tongue and shoved it right into Liz's brown eye.
It was clear to me in this moment that Regi was in her element. An impromptu rim job in front of a crowd of howling degenerates is Regi's raison d'être.
"Mike always empowers me to embrace my ratchetness every fuckin' day," she said.