Gay Men Are Still Hiding Their Sexuality At Work, Study Says

For many gay men, however, this type of bonding doesn't feel like an option. Even sharing their authentic voice and body language feels like a risk; because what if coworkers suddenly viewed them differently—with less respect, or distaste?

The subsequent "conscious manipulation" of their real selves at work is a reality for many gay men, according to recent research. Released by the University of Cincinnati, researchers analyzed the strategies some gay men adopt to "manage their gendered and sexual identity" in the office. In other words, what they wear, say and do in the office to hide their sexuality, in order to avoid "negative consequences."

"There are lots of anxieties related to identity management and self presentation for gay men in many professional settings," says Travis Dean Speice, lead author of the research and a sociology doctoral graduate.

Take Evan*, who told Speice he avoids wearing brightly colored shorts to the office. "Instead, he wore as much black to his job as possible, so as not to stand out. Another man, Dylan, who is a waiter, told me he would change his speech at the restaurant he works at. At tables with male diners, he said he spoke more formally—slower, and with a deeper voice. At female tables, he said he felt much more relaxed and would joke with the women."

Speice, who interviewed 30 men aged between 22-52, chose his subjects from a wide variety of different occupations: white collar, service, parttime, fulltime and contract. He says he didn't notice a pattern when it came to industry; what he did notice was that gay men feared being treated differently. "They were mostly worried about things like being fired from their job, being passed up for promotion, or not being hired in the first place," he tells Broadly.

Notably, his subjects often used the word "professional" as a way to describe what they were doing. Speice believes they were using the term subconsciously, as a euphemism for behaving in a more stereotypically masculine way. "Many men told me that they actually didn't think about their change of dress or behavior in the workplace as a way of changing their gender or sexuality performance," he explains. "They just said, 'I dress professionally.' But when I asked them what that really meant, they replied by ultimately describing what straight men would wear. Those that dressed more fashionably, or flamboyantly, feared being considered 'too gay' and not taken seriously."

As for the men who had come out at work, usually to a workmate they felt close to, that was complicated too. The responses they got back appeared supportive at first glance, but ultimately left an imprint of ignorance and a sour taste in their mouths.

Speice gives the example of 41-year-old Rodney, who came out to a female workmate. "She said something like, 'Yeah, you're gay, but you're not gay gay,'" Rodney told Speice. "Like, you're not 'too gay.' She was okay with me, but she was saying something homophobic about a particular kind of gay person she doesn't like. It's hurtful for me to hear that. I don't want to hear that."

Thirty-seven year old Hunter had a similar story. "They responded with, 'Wow, I never would have guessed you were gay!'" he told Speice. "I used to think that was a compliment, but now I see that as offensive. Telling someone they would never guess you to be something that you actually are."