Responding to Nudes with Mere Emojis Is an Affront to Human Decency

But this cocktail of flirtation is a delicate one that requires consideration. It’s only natural that something so tied up in our desirability should be treated carefully, lest someone gets their self-esteem bruised in ways that affect their comfort and chemistry with you. There’s no bigger turn-off than trying to turn someone on only to find that they don’t match your energy—which is why it's an affront to respond to someone’s nude with mere emojis.

Please believe that I have received my share of lackluster nudes, but giving a non-response like a single "😍"—or worse, "🍆"—when someone opens up to you and tries to turn you on is morally abhorrent. And I'm not alone in this idea; this article was inspired by a conversation with my friends, several of which had also received these types of responses and described the experience as jarring and hurtful.

Here are the lengths some people go to get a good nude—and I'm talking about consensual sexting between people who have some sort of existing relationship—not gross, juvenile unsolicited dick pics from total strangers. (Block and report those ignorant fools.) First, you’ve got to make sure you look sexy as hell, which might entail doing your hair and makeup and donning a special outfit. Then, you’ve got to scout a private spot with good lighting. And finally, you must take your pictures, which includes positioning and balancing your phone, setting the timer, and snapping many pics in various seductive poses while making sure your face looks cute, your waist looks snatched, and your ass looks fat at exactly the right second. Some people add even more work after that, Facetuning themselves or adding various graphics and effects a la Snapchat.

All of this—especially the part where you actually take the pictures—can require so much time and effort! And this is true for everyone. Men may be less likely to partake in the earlier rituals of makeup or lingerie (no judgment if you do; that is also sexy as hell), but some have told me that they think they actually take more time than women to take a good picture, simply because they feel less practiced in the art of the selfie and aren’t familiar with their flattering angles.

A successful sexting relationship requires balance, like any kind of relationship, really: Relinquish your double standards and split the bill, share the last slice, go down on each other. When a person spends their precious time thinking sexy things about you and taking pictures for you, reciprocate by putting some thought into your response. Consider what went into this person’s nude and access your horny gratitude.

Replying with mere emojis takes little to no effort, and even a one-word response like "damn" or "fuuuuuck" is less ambiguous in its affirmation. Being emotionally lazy and hiding behind emojis affirms the enduring myth that millennials are selfish, out-of-touch, and unable to foster "real" relationships thanks to the digital age. This isn’t to say your response should be void of emojis—just that it should have some substance, too. It's less about the specifics of your response and more about showing up for someone who is being vulnerable and sexy for you.

If you feel nervous responding directly to the pic ("wow, your tits look incredible," "fuck, your cock is so big"), try addressing the circumstances of the nude ("it’s fucking hot that you snuck away to take this for me") or describing what it evokes ("if you’re trying to get me to come over, it’s working").

And if your nudes aren't receiving your desired reaction, try asking them what turns them on, so you can stimulate them with conversation or draw inspiration for a different approach to your pics. Of course, it's an unfortunate truth that sometimes a person's non-response is indicative of their non-investment in your pleasure or feelings. In which case, consider dropping them and sending your nudes to friends instead. While out with a friend and discussing this very topic, I showed her a nude that elicited an uninspired response from its original recipient.

"Holy shit," she said. "That belongs in a museum." Finally, I felt seen.