Old Men Have Sex More than Women, If They Manage to Live Long Enough

Despite what pop culture suggests, sex does not belong to the young and beautiful. Somewhere between field trips to buy stamps at the grocery store and 5 PM tooth brushing, old people are having intercourse, just like you. But the findings of one recent study shed light onto the harsh reality that women of advanced age aren't having as much sex as their male counterparts. The International Longevity Center found that a quarter of men over 85 had intercourse in the past year, while only 10 percent of old women did.

In a country where youth is worshipped above all else, aging is stigmatized. Sex is a classic hot seller but old people are often desexualized in popular culture. The famed late Indian guru Osho drew a link between sex and death. "Man is afraid of both sex and death," he said. "That's why they are taboos. No one talks about sex and no one talks about death." He believed that, because life begins as the result of sex and we all ultimately die, "birth and death are two poles of one thing." The inevitable reality, Osho said, is that "death cannot happen without sex, just as birth cannot happen without sex." So how do we grapple with sex and old age in a world where both are stigmatized?

Dr. Barbara Risman is the Head of the Department of Sociology at the University of Illinois. According to Dr. Risman, who specializes in the areas of sex, gender, and family, there is very little research into the sexual activity of elderly people. "We don't have great data on intimacy and aging," she said in an interview with Broadly. "What we know about aging is mostly focused on individuals, and not on couples or the relationships between people."

The findings in this study may be relative to broader trends in gender, according to Dr. Risman. The fact that many elderly women aren't having sex may be related to the fact that women in their forties find it harder to date. "Men are far more likely to have younger partners," she explained. Subsequently, "the numbers for possible partners for the men are much larger." This is probably thanks to two general truths, Dr. Risman said. "The cultural acceptance of older men and younger women is part of it." But the other factor to consider is the tendency for men to die younger than women, which means there's simply fewer men to go around as women grow older. "The numbers of people who are available are vastly different."

On average, women may live five to ten years longer than men. In 2013, writer Robert Kulrich of NPR investigated the tendency for men to die younger. Ultimately, he wrote, men are more vulnerable to death "for many reasons, because of our hormones, our chromosomes, our lifestyle, the stresses of being a guy, we become (or are born) more fragile."

Dr. Pepper Schwartz is a the Love and Relationships Ambassador and a professor of Sociology at the University of Washington. In an interview with Broadly, she expanded on the nuance of gender differences in aging and sex. "I don't think women find it so much harder to love than men in their 80s," she said. "I think that they have lower expectations of finding someone because the sex ratio is so different." According to Dr. Schwartz, there is no relationship between sex and death. Quite the opposite: She believes "there is a relationship between sex and youth. Having sex makes people feel younger and more vital."

The definition of sex in this study is general. "Do notice the chart shows any sexual activity," Dr. Risman said. "Having a woman fondle your penis counts [as sex]." She added that the findings would be more surprising had the study looked exclusively at traditional intercourse. "Even with Viagra and chemical support, as men age they have less ability to have vaginal sex."

"There are huge benefits to having sex in later life," Dr. Schwartz noted, adding that medical literature shows a correlation between sex, health, and mood. Despite cultural beliefs that sex and death are two sides of the same coin—or those that stigmatize aging, especially in women—it is clear that more sex is a good thing for your grandparents.