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People Reveal Their Most Embarrassing Teenage Phases

Weird how none of these happened to any of us.
Photo by Jacob Lund via Stocksy

For better or worse, everyone has gone through at least one of those vague life stages parents like to call "a phase." Whether it's only wearing primary colors as a second grader, becoming obsessed with a certain band or movie as a young teen, or donning striped spiky hair and going to concerts by bands with names like "Destroyer Porn," everyone has been there. And while most phases are products of current culture, many persist over time.

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One phase that continues to plague pre-pubescent girls everywhere is the boy band crush; ask any former-teen and they will most likely be able to instantly recall exactly which boy-band member was (or maybe still is) the object of their affection, which teen magazines had the best posters of said member, and what their wedding would look like.

Another phase that has passed the test of time is a taste for moody music and dark wardrobes. Over several trend cycles teenagers with feelings have continued to discover the joys of using Kool-Aid as hair dye, loitering at the local mall's Hot Topic, and shouting, "It's not a phase!" while slamming bedroom doors shut on their worried mothers. While many shudder with regret when looking back on periods like this, most eventually snap out of it, moving on with their lives without seriously alienating or weirding out their friends and family. Others get the memo a little too late. We asked the second group of people about their youthful (and not so youthful) mishaps, and about what made them hang on to their most embarrassing tendencies just a little too long.

Read more: People Share the Dumbest, Most Embarrassing Things They've Ever Bought

Where do you keep your puka shells?

One day in middle school, I decided to become a surfer. It didn't matter to me that I lived in Florida, which is definitely the wrong coast on which to become a surfer. I also hated the beach because I sunburn very easily and don't like sand. None of that stopped me from buying every puka-shell necklace I could get my hands on and wearing them all at the same time. I also bought—behind my mom's back—a bottle of Sun-In. I didn't read the instructions and just slathered it into my hair like shampoo. It looked terrible. I had streaks that went horizontally around my head. Monica

Post-punk

I used to be obsessed with this English punk band. More specifically, I was trying to become the lead singer—pitch black, dyed hair, tattered clothing, and loads of makeup slathered on my face. I thought I looked really cool until I saw him in a market in London and he was dressed completely normally, in jeans and a T-shirt, and there I was in a ripped-up blazer with my face done up like his stage makeup. –Samuel

Sorry Ms. Jonas

In middle school I experienced my first real surge of sexual urge at the combined sight and voice of a certain Nicholas Jonas. From that point on, there was not a concert of his and his far inferior brothers that I did not attend. Not only did I attend them all, but I would arrive extremely early to scout the venue and tour buses, and squat somewhere waiting for a [Nick] sighting. I imagined the two of us would lock eyes and he would ditch his brothers to run away with me. My freshman year of high school was devoted to making a pencil portrait of him. In the cafeteria, I would fight friends who claimed that Joe was the more talented brother.

In the years to come, beginning with the chopping off of his luscious brown locks, my love began to fade. His affinity for Miley Cyrus certainly didn't help. Lola

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Nick Jonas. Photo via Wikimedia Commons

He was a sk8r boi. And also a thief.

For longer than I would like to admit, I was obsessed with skaters. Not any kind of skateboarder, either—the ones that don't have jobs, apartments, or prospects of looking for anything more than the next sick spot to film with their buddies. I had convinced myself that skate rats were living the purest form of existence because they didn't seem to care about careers, mortgages, or really anything else. I would hang out at skate parks and bars they frequented, and I even loitered at skate shops. They would always be "moving between places," which really means that they were homeless, and they would sleep over every night. It was great until I realized they were all stealing from me, sometimes beer, sometimes cigarettes, and one time cold, hard cash. Eileen

Reach for the sun (every day, all the time)

I refused to drink anything other than SunnyD for a good year of my life. I would have water if there wasn't anything else, but most of the time I demanded the juice. My siblings learned that they couldn't touch the jug in the fridge unless they wanted to deal with my guaranteed meltdown and then pleas to go to the store and pick up more. My mom was convinced that I was going to turn orange and finally refused to buy it. Louise

They really should have gotten together, though

When I was in college I learned about Harry Potter fan fiction. It was amazing. I always thought that Harry and Hermione should have ended up together, and apparently so did other people.But it wasn't just Harry-and-Hermione love stories—there was something for everyone. I started writing it and would find myself up at 4 AM every night furiously typing out stories about the Hogwarts gang. After about six months of being an active fan-fiction community member, I decided to go to a meet-up.

It was really bad. I was at a coffee shop hanging out with two middle-aged moms who looked like they had never been out in the sun a day in their lives and were both obsessed with Voldemort. That day really made me realize I should start focusing on my friends and school instead of cavorting with these people on the internet. Alexi

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Chance encounters

I think every girl tries to run into their crushes—in the street, at school, wherever. Except my stalker phase was really bad. When I would see my crush post something on social media about a restaurant or store, I would start making my friends go hang out there with me hoping to run into him. One time I made my friend circle her car around a local library for three hours hoping to have a "chance encounter." Later, for another crush, I made the same friend sit for two hours outside a theater waiting for a play to let out. He was nowhere to be found. Nicolette