Scorpio, April 2016

Thanks to the eclipses, March was almost as intense as you are, Scorpio! April is way smoother, despite the retrogrades that will be rolling in during the second half of the month. When a planet goes retrograde, what it's doing is retracing its steps through the zodiac, revisiting themes, people, and conversations it previously encountered. Fortunately, as the detective of the zodiac, you are fine with doing a little review of the past.

Mercury will kick off its retrograde on April 28, and both of your ruling planets—Mars (your traditional, old school ruler) and Pluto (newly discovered and assigned to you by most modern astrologers)—will turn retrograde on April 17 and 18. But plenty of things go down before then, too. Let's take a look:

On April 5, sweet Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and money, enters fierce Fire sign Aries, lighting up the sector of your chart that rules health and wellness, your routine and responsibilities, and your day job. A change in your beauty routine is likely, and making your work area a more harmonious space is an excellent way to use this energy.

Venus is so strongly tied to romance; since it will be touring the responsibility sector of your chart, we could say that finding love at the office or the gym is super likely during this astrological transit. (However, Scorpio, you're so fucking hot you can find love anywhere at any time.) But anyway, if you're looking to hookup, look in literally the most boring places: doctors' offices, the mail room in your building… anywhere you would need to go for whatever mundane reason, Venus will find you.

Speaking of love, the planet of conversation, Mercury, will be entering sensual Taurus, your opposite sign on the zodiac wheel, on April 5. Here, it will be activating the partnership sector of your chart. This will be awesome for any communication that needs to happen in your relationships, both romantic and otherwise. While flexible Mercury is in friendly Taurus, you'll be in a very amicable mood, Scorpio—unlike your usual bitchy self!

The one exception may come on April 6, when the Sun in Aries squares (a tense astrological aspect) the lord of the underworld, Pluto, in Capricorn. On this date, you'll be ready to throw down with anyone who gets in your way. Pluto is the planet of manipulation and shady behavior, so don't believe everything you hear on this day, and watch out for paranoid thoughts. You might also feel tempted to force a situation or outcome.

Sure, you might learn a lot about your limits by pushing things to the extreme, but there's also something to be said for knowing when to move on. That saying, "you can't change others, but you can change yourself," will be particularly true today.

Ready for a fresh start? One will come on April 7, during the new moon in Aries, which will be revitalizing the sector of your chart that rules all that boring stuff we talked about before: health, work and responsibility. Have a bad habit you're trying to break? Are you hoping to rework your schedule at your job? Now's a fantastic time to focus on these themes.

Aries is an energetic, fearless sign, so don't be afraid to make demands that will help make your life simpler and healthier. If you need inspiration, just call up an Aries friend and ask them to tell you stories about the last time they fought for what they wanted—pep talks will really get you going during this new moon!

April 12 will also be an energizing day for you: Venus in Aries will trine (a super easy astrological aspect) Mars in Sagittarius. I don't think you need me to tell you that Venus and Mars are lovers; while this combo is definitely fab for love, you'll also feel this cosmic connection go off around your finances, self-esteem, and confidence.

Mercury in Taurus trines Pluto in Capricorn on April 17, sending you super positive vibes around your social life. Any connections or conversations you have will be blessed today—if you need to convince someone of something, this is great day to make your case. Yes, Mars retrograde also begins today, which may feel deflating, but you have to make the best of the astrological transits, and since you're the sign of transformation, Scorpio, I'm sure you can work it out.

Mars is the planet of battle, so a retrograde can be a frustrating time for the warrior planet. Mars doesn't want to retreat—it wants to fight! But retreating is important. We all need to rest, review our strategy, and create new battle plans. We can't always be in the field, shooting off our bows and arrows (oh, did I mention this retrograde would be going down in the sign of the archer, Sagittarius? It is!).

Mars retrograde in Sagittarius will intensify issues you have around self-esteem, finances, and material matters. You'll begin wondering if the cash and belongings you've been fighting for are actually worth it. Next month, Mars will dip back into your sign, which will shift your focus from your stuff to you. This transit will force you to do a thorough examinations of your motives, drive, and purpose. It's super deep stuff, but what can you expect when deep stuff is what you're made of, little scorpion?

On April 18, your other ruling planet, Pluto, stations retrograde in Capricorn, which will find you considering the power plays that go on in your communications. Has someone been subtly manipulating you? Are you in a quietly antagonistic relationship with someone you regularly exchange bitchy texts with? Or do you have some paranoid, suspicious thoughts on your brain that need to be aired out? These issues will intensify during this period, so be proactive in talking things out with someone qualified or someone you can trust to help you untangle your worries.

Your focus shifts to partnership on April 19, with the Sun entering Taurus and highlighting that relationship sector of your chart—but watch out for many of these Plutonian issues we just discussed, because on this day, sweet Venus will challenge Pluto as well! This will bring stress to your communications, and, like we discussed earlier, you're really not in the mood to fight this month (you're all about being "charming Scorpio" this April). While this clash could be stressful, both Venus and Pluto are energies tied to sex and intimacy, so fucking the pain away is definitely an option you might want to explore.

April 22 brings the full moon in your sign, Scorpio! Full moons bring things to light, so expect to see your relationships in a new, deeper way around this time. Full moons also ask for balance— so much focus has been on your partners recently, but around the full moon your own emotional needs will be top priority.

On April 28, Mercury begins its retrograde. Do I need to give you all the warnings? I'm sure you know them already, being that Scorpios love astrology and the occult, but in case you don't: Mercury rules the mind, communication, information, and moving from place to place, so anything involving these themes is best avoided—things like buying electronics, planning trips, or signing contracts. Expect delays and communication mishaps. Definitely double check to whom you're sending e-mails. And also beware: People from the past will pop up.

Because Mercury rules the mind, the retrograde is really a great time for you to review the thoughts, decisions, and conversations you've had over the last few weeks—especially around partnerships, since that's the sector of your chart that will be hit. Rethinking a commitment? Missing an ex? Need to find a better way to interact with someone? These are all things Mercury retrograde in Taurus will find you working on.

Venus enters Taurus on April 29, blasting the relationship sector of your chart with peace, love, and harmony: Not a bad way to end the month! Lots of review will begin to go down this month thanks to the retrogrades, but you'll also have plenty of time to enjoy company and be present. See you in May, Scorpio!