Some Performance Pieces to Try at Home

Yoko isn't the only one with good ideas. Here are some quick performance pieces you can do in your spare time:

Acquire a hangover with the strength of 1000 suns.
Try not to barf.
Imagine twelve clouds
They're hung over too.
The piece ends when you have slid from the couch to the floor, or Netflix has given up on you,
Whichever happens first.

Scream:
1. At your phone
2. At Jon on the phone
3. At Jon's boss
4. At your boyfriend
5. At yourself
6. At this whole cruel universe

Throw:
1. Your phone into a river and walk away.

Get in your bed.
Eat in there.
Sleep.
Wake up and eat some more, maybe have sex or something.
Spill some stuff on the bed and think about the sky.
You did it.
Your bed is art now.

Take the term "girl crush"
Set it on fire.

Imagine your most annoying friend.
This should be done after 4-6 glasses or one (1) bottle of wine.
Unfollow their bunk ass on Twitter.

Drape yourself in a luxurious red cape.
Sit in a big chair.
Be like, so serious about it.
Receive gifts.

Put on a wig,
Like,
Why not.

Allow the famous man to slide into your DMs
Allow him to tell you you're beautiful (a)
That he'd love to "take you out some time" (b)
And "Get to know each other" (c)
Let the words gradually go from theoretical to actual bullshit.
Screenshot the bullshit and follow his girlfriend instead.

Plan a DJ night.
Distribute flyers on the thinnest paper.
Arrange a guest list, invite everyone you know.
Call people on the night of your "set" and tell them they do not actually have to come.
Sleep well.

Don't let a guy shoot you
Not in the arm
Not in the leg
Not for any reason
Not even for art
This is a dumb idea.

Talk to the moon about menstruation.
See what that's all about.

Never tweet.

Think about every soul saying every prayer there is.
Know you're near a house of worship
and dream of the house.
Stay home and masturbate and do a nice crossword instead,
God is probably not real.