The Weirdest Things Celebrities Have Thanked in Their Memoirs

Despite the short shelf life of celebrity memoirs, Janice Dickinson's 2002 book No Lifeguard on Duty has continued to please readers thanks to her honesty about addiction and hilarious anecdotes about fashion. The bizarre combination is on full display in her acknowledgements section, where she thanks both "Dr. Jon Perlman. Dr. Steve Hoefflin. Dr. John Joseph for incredible botox" and "AA and everyone who ever walks through the door for allowing me true support (notwithstanding the Wonderbra)…"

I believe Tyra Banks wrote her young adult novel, Modelland, without a ghost writer because it is the most bonkers book I have ever read. It includes such lines as, "EYE SEE YOUR BEAUTY!" (all caps belong to Banks) and characters with names like Tookie De La Crème. In her acknowledgements, Banks thanks multiple hotels. "A special thanks to the Crosby Street Hotel restaurant," she writes. "Sometimes I'd sit in one seat for eight hours at a time, ordering breakfast." She goes on to give Stephen King's On Writing a shout out for allegedly teaching her the art of fiction, as well as Lake Como for being "a few doors down" from George Clooney, and, without an ounce of self-awareness, a Berber village. "It was a real treat for me to read a section of Modelland for half an hour to children who didn't speak English," Banks explains. "I thought that if I could hold their attention that long, maybe my book had a chance at success. Shukran."

You might expect Kris Jenner to first thank her children in her acknowledgements for And All Things Kardashian, but Jenner reserves the first page for the late "Nicole Brown Simpson, who lives in my heart every day and her beautiful family…" She goes on to thank Kathie Lee Gifford, her "glam squad," and her employees at Jenner Communications, like "Liz." She does eventually include her beloved children by the second to last paragraph.

Like Jenner, Jenna Jameson gives her own company, ClubJenna, prominent placement in the acknowledgements of How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale. Today, people know Jameson for slurring on local news shows and tweeting about converting to Judaism, but she once owned a booming tech startup called ClubJenna. The startup produced adult videos and represented other porn stars, and Jameson later sold the company to Playboy. Unlike Jenner, though, Jameson's employees have names like "Sparky, Osky, Pookie, [and] Meatball."

"Lastly, I'd like to thank Chuy. You are my nugget." — Chelsea Handler, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, 2008.

Drew Barrymore wrote the original bad girl celebrity memoir in 1990 with Little Girl Lost. She details partying at the notorious Limelight nightclub before she hit puberty, taking her first drink at nine, and doing coke at age 12. She includes photos of her intoxicated during elementary school to prove her wild tales happened. Her acknowledgements, though, show how she was somewhat of an average kid. She thanks her friend Angie for "Cup O' Noodles, kisses, hugs, and I love you forever" and Cindy for "Loud Birthday cakes and funky times." Until you get to the shout out toSteven Spielberg ("I love you for everything"), the acknowledgements read like they were written by someone who had a typical childhood, not like someone who starred inE.T. and did coke at 12.

Dogs are arguably better than humans, a reality understood by both Mariel Hemingway and Carrie Fisher (RIP). Both icons dedicate their acknowledgements' final lines to their dogs, Gary Fisher and Mr. Bubba, respectively, in their memoirs about being raised by celebrities and battling mental illness: Hemingway's Out Came the Sun and Fisher's The Princess Diarist.

Notorious name-dropper Kathy Griffin has long touted her position as a celebrity adored by gay men. In Official Book Club Selection, she thanks "the entire gay community." She goes on to thank pizza.

The Girls Next Door reality star Holly Madison has created a second career as a gifted memoirist compared to Sylvia Plath. In the acknowledgements of her most recent tome, The Vegas Diaries, she writes (in verse), "To my family and friends and Liberace's ghost. / To the city of Las Vegas. What a wonderful place to find oneself!"

Manson writes a fairly traditional acknowledgements section, but based on the pals he thanks, his social group comes across as the strangest in Hollywood: Xerxes Satan Lavey, Traci Lords, Courtney Love, David Lynch, Snoop Doggy Dogg, and "Catherine TYC for proofreading, transcribing, and research," to name a few.

The shock jock must be the best BFF ever, because Marilyn Manson, Janice Dickinson, and Jenna Jameson all thank Stern in their memoirs. "Howard Stern, thanks for everything," Jameson writes. "You are an amazing man." Apparently!