Teen Girls Who Are Close to Their Moms Less Likely to Have Sex at a Young Age

The same logic applies when it comes to talking about sex with teenage girls. Pretend that sex doesn't exist—or condition your daughters to be so full of shame they can't ask you questions about it—and they'll likely end up having sex younger, suggests new research published in Pediatrics.

Researchers from Erasmus University Rotterdamfound that having a strong, open mother-daughter relationships overwhelmingly reduced the likelihood that young girls would become sexually active before the age of 16. Conversely, a good-father son relationship did not affect the age at which men have sex.

The research team used data drawn from 2,931 adolescents aged between 12 and 16 years old who attended school in or near the Dutch city of Rotterdam. In particular, they focused on a group of children who were aged 12 years old at the beginning of the study, and 14 by its conclusion.

At the age of 12, the girls and boys were asked about their relationship quality with their mothers and fathers respectively. Questions included "Do you feel close to your mother/father?", "Do you share thoughts and feelings with your mother/father?", and "Do you enjoy spending time with your mother/father?" After a period of two years, the adolescents were surveyed to find out whether they'd become sexually active.

The results attest to the importance of a solid mother-daughter relationship when it comes to preventing girls from becoming sexually active at a young age. Girls who had a strong relationship with their moms were 55 percent less likely to engage in early sex compared to their peers—although there was no difference for boys who had similar bonds with their fathers.

"This may be because, in many Western societies, the mother is still the primary caregiver and provider of their children's sexual education," says report author Raquel Nogueira Avelar e Silva. She highlights the scarcity of academic research into the role of parents in their children's sexual development. "According to existing theories," she adds, "girls learn more from their mothers and boys from their fathers. Having a high relationship quality with mothers may contribute to more frequent communication about sexuality, which can lead to less engagement in early sex."

From ludicrous purity pledges predicated on Old Testament ideals of female virginity to falsely telling young girls that birth control will fail or make them sick, moms and dads around the world continue to ignore or deny that sex is a vital, pleasurable part of life and fail to discuss it with their daughters appropriately. But study after study has shown that indoctrinating young women with misinformation and shame about sexuality doesn't work, and makes them more susceptible to teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Still, these attitudes persist, and Silva feels it's down to a sexist double standard. "In our society—in Western society—it's still expected that boys have sex earlier to prove their masculinity, and girls are expected to start sex later," she explains. "The double standard still exists." As a result, young girls are denied potentially life-altering sexual health advice.

The solution? Frank, open and non-judgmental conversations with young girls about sex—starting with our daughters.