Very Bad Popes Who Were Inarguably More Scandalous Than 'Young Pope'
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Very Bad Popes Who Were Inarguably More Scandalous Than 'Young Pope'

Before there was Jude Law playing a cigarette-smoking papal bad boy on HBO's new series, 'Young Pope,' there were popes who lived their lives "so vile, so foul, so execrable, that I shudder to think of it."

The papacy, history's oldest continuing monarchy, has spat out more than a few monsters. Corrupt, violent and comically petty, some popes have acted more like tyrants in cylindrical top hats than honorable torch bearers of some mystical order. In other words, Pope Pius XIII— the Trumpian pontiff played by Jude Law in HBO's Young Pope— would have been at home in ancient Rome. These "bad boy" popes were true nightmares.

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Pope Benedict IX

Pope Benedict IX, who was coronated at some age between 11 and 20, was called by St. Peter Damian, a "demon from hell in the disguise of a priest." Pope Victor III, in his third book of Dialogues, wrote that Benedict IX had a "life as a pope so vile, so foul, so execrable, that I shudder to think of it."

Many scholars believe Benedict IX was the first gay pope; his legendary orgies allegedly involved both men and animals. Lynne Yamaguchi Fletcher, in "The First Gay Pope and Other Records" wrote that his sex parties in the Lateran Palace, "turned the Vatican into a male brothel."

Read more: Rejected Show Concepts by the Creators of 'The Young Pope'

Benedict IX was elected as a result of "wholesale bribery" on the part of his father, according to the book "Absolute Monarchs." Once installed, he was shameless in his debauchery, and reminded older members of the clergy of the days of the Pornocracy — a period in the history of the Papacy when the Popes were influenced strongly by a powerful and corrupt aristocratic family named the Theophylacts.

As a result of all his partying, Benedict was, to put it lightly, disliked by members of the aristocracy. The Romans put up with his rule for nearly twelve years, but by January 1045, they they'd had more than enough. They forced him to abandon the city, replacing him with the Crescentic Bishop John of Sabina, who went by the name Sylvester III.

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But Sylvester would only last two months before Benedict excommunicated him and regained his throne. Apparently bored by how easy it was to maneuver this coup, however, he promptly resigned his papal rights and allowed his grandfather, the archpriest John Gratian, to take over.

In a normal story, this abdication would spell the end of Benedict's reign. But Benedict IX wasn't the average party boi the aristocracy believed him to be; he was more like party monster Michael Alig, cunning and even allegedly murderous. He was rumored to have poisoned at least two of the four popes appointed after him, including Clement II, who lasted a mere 10 months before dying and abdicating the throne to Benedict, and the following pope, Damasus II.

Following Damasus, Henry III was finally able to install Leo IX, who elevated the post, traveling widely while campaigning against simony and corruption to massive, adoring crowds.

What happened to Benedict is less clear. According to one report, he retired to the abbey of Grottaferrata, resigned all claims to the papacy and spent his last years as a penitent. Though he'd been a bad boy, he'd also taught the pure doctrine of Christ throughout his entire papacy, and scholars imagine that he felt remorse for his sins.

Pope John XII

According to the book "The Great Apostasy," John XII turned the Lateran Palace into a "school for prostitution." A noted rapist of virgins and widows, the young pope's antics were so infamous that female pilgrims were discouraged from visiting the shrine of St. Peter under his rule, "lest, in the devious act, they should be violated by his successor." He was eighteen years old when he first took the throne.

An official inquiry revealed that the pope had fucked his own niece. He had also gone hunting publicly, a no-no for Popes; blinded his spiritual father, Benedict, who had died of the injuries; castrated and murdered a cardinal subdeacon; set houses on fire; and wore a sword and helmet at all times for no apparent reason. He was also, apparently, a big fan of demons, whom he often asked for help.

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We request your imperial majesty that this monster — whom no virtue redeems from vice — be driven from the holy Roman church[…]

The German King Otto of Saxony urged the pope to cease his scandalous ways but John was rotten to the core. The emperor asked the bishops to devise a verdict to decide John's fate. They wrote: "We request your imperial majesty that this monster — whom no virtue redeems from vice — be driven from the holy Roman church[…]"

In those days, however, it wasn't so easy to dispose of a tyrant. Also, the Romans were not ready to see their democratically elected leader overthrown by a German. They turned on Otto instead. John returned to the city and ruthlessly struck back at his critics—tearing out the tongues, fingers, and noses of those who'd turned against him. He died of a stroke shortly thereafter, allegedly while having sex with a mistress. He was twenty-seven years old.

Pope Stephen VI

Petty doesn't begin to describe Pope Stephen VI. This pope famously exhumed the body of his predecessor, Formosus, propped his body up on a throne and put him on a mock trial on charges of perjury and "coveting the Papacy."

Unable to defend himself, Formosus, of course, was found guilty on all counts and his edicts were declared null and void, causing chaos among the aristocracy. No longer of use to Stephen VI, his body was thrown in the Tiber river, except for the three fingers he had used to give blessings.

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Shortly after this, an earthquake struck Rome and the Basilica of St. John Lateran was destroyed — an event that was easy to interpret as a sign of God's displeasure with Stephen's morbid behavior. Six months later, he was deposed, stripped and locked in a dungeon where he was reportedly later found strangled to death.