Instead of subtweeting your ex, why not cast an emoji unbinding spell instead?
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The magical tool that every modern witch has on her at all times is her phone: A handheld portal to all the world's information that can dispense spells with a few strokes of the thumbs.
You probably already use this Philosopher's Stone for such sorcery as aeromancy, preparing the sacrament, dowsing, and evocation. (That's checking the weather, looking up recipes and getting the ingredients delivered, finding a nearby coffee shop, and looking at pictures of your friends until you call one of them.) But even if you have a tarot app or an astronomical ephemeris in your phone, you may not have thought of using it to cast spells.
The Crafting Part
Make sure you clearly work out your intention before you begin. That's perhaps the most important part of the spell. "I need more money" is so vague as to invite unintended consequences. What if the way that money comes to you is through an insurance settlement from a piano falling on your head? "I will get paid better for what I love to do" spells out better how the money will arrive, and you can add details like "starting now, I will only do gigs I love, and all my gigs will be paying gigs."
Then, choose the emoji that represent your intention: what you want to invite in, the work you want to accomplish, the emotions you want to let go of. There are hundreds to choose from. Take your time.
The Casting Part
After you hone your intention and choose the perfect sequence of emoji, how exactly do you cast them as a spell? Speaking a spell out loud (three times, usually) is how you cast with words. With emoji, you have to send them. If you're not out of the broom closet, don't worry—you don't have to post "I'm casting a spell now!" on Facebook.
You can send the spells to your friends, add them to Snapchats, tweet them, post them to Slack, or cement them as Life Events on Facebook; the reason to share a spell is to give it a boost. It's like how telling a friend you're headed to the gym makes it more likely you'll go, or how the support you get when you talk about a job interview lends you confidence.
You can signal that your message is a spell if you like by framing it with the crystal ball, like so:
(That's a spell for finding your keys.)
When I want to send a spell through the ether without sharing it with anyone just yet, I go on Twitter and DM it to myself or go on Slack and send it to Slackbot.
Emoji, by their nature, are cute and cryptic and can be used publicly without raising too many eyebrows—people who aren't into emoji will just roll their eyes and move on anyway. But just because they're silly and strange doesn't disqualify them from being useful for casting spells. After all, being silly and strange is part of being a witch.
Before you work any magic, ground and center yourself. Feel how you're balanced on your feet or your butt, notice your breathing, and imagine yourself as a tree, strong and stable and with roots that reach into the earth. Spend as much time as you need grounding.
The place of business for spellwork is inside a circle, called a circle of protection:
or simply a magic circle. If you bracket your emoji spells with a crystal ball or spiral, the spells will be encircled, but cast a circle for yourself, too. Picture a circle drawn on the ground around you, and make it your favorite color. Expand it to a sphere if you like If you're the only one using the circle, don't worry if you forget to take it down—it's your magic circle! After performing a spell, you can release the circle by clapping your hands
and saying "the circle is now open," or using the circle and knife emoji, like this:
Spell for inviting love into your life
An ethical witch casts spells for herself (or for her friends) with permission, but she never curses or hexes or casts a spell on someone else—and this goes double for love spells. You really don't want to try to exert control over another being. Trust me: The last thing you want is to end up with a person you don't like all that much fixated on you long after you've realized you made a mistake. Instead of focusing on "getting" a specific person, think about what you're looking for in a date or a partner, and cast a spell to open yourself up to meeting someone. This is an instance where you don't want to be too specific: If you try to "place an order" for a tall, blond musician who watches soccer and loves coffee, you might be putting blinders on and ignoring everyone who doesn't fit that description.
What I'd start with:
Add some preferences, like:
(an optimistic guy who reads and shares my values)
(a stable, creative guy who's down for karaoke)
Spell to bring prosperity
Tailor this one to represent how you want more money to enter your life, such as launching a business, saving better, getting a promotion, moving to a place with cheaper rent. Then go ahead and state your goal on Facebook, and add your spell:
Shielding yourself from thirsty randos
Picture yourself shielded by a protective boundary—anything from a castle tower to a soap bubble, depending on how strong you want the shields to be. Then, subtweet one of these:
Unbinding after a breakup
In my own practice, I use scissors as a talisman to cut the strings of attachment from a person or situation I no longer want to be bound to. I also use scissors as a tool to help me not be attached to outcomes of everyday situations. For unbinding, it helps to clearly picture the person you want to be free of, and to sense the cords that bind the two of you. A mentor of mine recommends first sending healing or loving energy to the person, so that the breaking of the ties doesn't come as a sudden and painful psychic shock. Then, post this spell—and make a gesture in the air with your fingers or with actual scissors. After the cord is cut, be sure to mentally tie a knot on the end so it doesn't seek out the thread it was just unbound from. Some witches insist on cutting an actual thread and then burning it, but I find letting go to be easier if I don't have to touch the end of the thread that belongs to the other person.
Speedy passage through the TSA line
DM yourself these emoji as you arrive at the airport or right before you enter the TSA line, and visualize yourself moving effortlessly through security, and your bags moving through the X-ray conveyor without stopping. Note: This only works if you read the TSA packing guidelines and leave your contraband at home.
Calming vibes before an appointment
Some obligations can put you on edge in unhelpful ways: You don't want to clench up before a visit to the gynecologist or show up to see a friend in the hospital looking worried and distracted. Seriously ground yourself, and then text your roommate:
Clearing weird energy out of your apartment (or your phone!)
Space clearing is its own kind of spell, but if you just want to rid yourself or your space of some bad vibes, or to shake the feeling of a bad conversation from your phone, Snapchat this with a picture of the room you're clearing:
Prayer for a missed period
So your period is late, and you don't want to face the kind of decisions that might follow that. Making a potion to release an unwanted pregnancy is one of the oldest and most feared powers of the witch. We're not going to be literally drinking an abortifacient tea here, just letting our body know that it's time to bring on the flow. Ground, center, and then text your besties:
Spell to bring focused attention
You've got a project to tackle, maybe your dissertation, maybe designing an invitation or packing for a trip. Whatever it is, it requires your full attention and you've been doing everything you can to procrastinate, mainly checking notifications. Tweet this spell. Text it to your sister. Add it to the middle of your face in a Snapchat story, then post a screenshot of that on Instagram, and make sure Instagram posts to Facebook. Then, lock your phone in a drawer and put the key inside a mason jar. Throw the mason jar out the window. Finish your project.