This Season of 'Insecure' Gave Us the Confident Issa We've Been Waiting For

Insecure's third season ended Sunday night on HBO. In the time since, we've been able to process the season, talk about it on Twitter, compare every relationship scenario on the show to our real lives, discuss with co-workers, and long for more episodes.

This season began with a homeless Issa Dee (Issa Rae), living with her it's-very-complicated-friend Daniel (Y'lan Noel), working at her non-profit job We Got Y'all, and driving a Lyft for extra money. She's broke and defeated after her dramatic breakup with Lawrence (Jay Ellis); her low self-esteem and lack of purpose are directly tied to her failed relationship and lack of career focus.

In the first episode, we were introduced to Nathan (Kendrick Sampson), a Lyft rider in Issa's car who eventually becomes her love interest. But we don't see their love story blossom before spending three episodes with Daniel, a high school crush that won't seem to go away. Living together after she breaks up with Lawrence allows Issa to truly see Daniel's strengths and weaknesses as an aspiring music producer. After an argument about him changing a beat to impress an artist—that results in him losing an opportunity—Issa realizes that Daniel's stubbornness to change and microaggressions toward her over her lack of career focus isn't healthy.

Issa's revelation about this codependent relationship, in which she supports Daniel's dreams and he gives her refuge in return, actually gives her the ammunition to find a job as a superintendent in another apartment building and move out of Daniel's place. That was the first step of many in the right direction for our heroine this season.

Once she moves out, Issa's mind is clear. She throws out romantic artifacts from her relationship with Lawrence, closes the door on dating Daniel, and really begins to evaluate her future.

Enter Nathan.

Nathan is a stark contrast from the men Issa has dated before. He's attentive, encouraging of her dreams, adventurous, and generally a bright light in the cloud of Issa's self-doubt. (Can you tell I love him?) After one amazing date with this guy, Issa finds the courage to walk away from her dead-end job at We Got Y'all and pursue her love of music education. After one seriously sexy hookup in a Coachella Ferris wheel booth, she begins planning a community music event for kids. Nathan sparked something in Issa that was already there—but what he drew out wasn't necessarily dependent upon his presence.

We learn this after he completely ghosts Issa for an entire month. In what we consider television's most relatable moment the summer, Issa grapples with getting close to someone for them to completely disappear with no warning. (For those of you unfamiliar with the lengths people will go to ghost, reference this.)

Feelings of doubt and insecurity arise, but unlike old Issa, who might prefer to wallow in self-pity to the prospect of being Nathan-less, she bucks up and continues to pursue her dreams by going to business classes and meeting with a community organizer—who, plot twist, goes on a date with Lawrence—to plan her community event.

All of this culminates in the last episode of the season, when Issa turns 30 years old surrounded by her best friends, enjoying one of her favorite films, The Last Dragon. Nathan comes back around with flowers (surprise!) and explains to her that he went M.I.A. because he suffers from depression and needed to go home to deal with "family issues." Again, we see a moment when new Issa cements herself as an independent woman: She hears him out, lets him know that she "didn't ask" for him to come into her life, and tells him that she needs time to think. The episode ends open-ended about her love life, but unlike season's past, we're very sure that with or without a man, she's going to be OK. Issa walks away from Nathan, finally unpacks all her stuff in her spacious apartment, and decorates. Ahh, yes, this is what growth looks like.

The running theme this season on Insecure was independence—in love, friendships, and career aspirations. The old Issa didn't take risks, but the new Issa—through recognizing the danger in codependent relationships—finds freedom in self-reliance. I can't wait to see how she evolves in season four.